This is a recurring issue that I have when it comes to the banal and yet glorious task of cooking.
This is not a confession that I’m a bad cook. To the contrary, I’m a pretty decent cook. I’m just very inconsistant.
Inconsistancy in the frequency of my cooking.
Inconsistancy in the quality of my cooking.
(Dinner parties ~5-6 dishes, 2 are A+, 3 are Bs, and 1 will be eaten alone, afterhours, in the dark, under the stairs, seasoned with the salt of shame from my tears and served with a rusty spoon which will in fact actually improve the failed creation’s flavor)
But my most pressing problem in the kitchen is not, as many folks may encounter, in the cleanup of the aftermath (though my hubby may differ in opinion on my general chaotic culinary endevors).
It is in SCALE. Understanding the SCALE of cooking.
For 1. For 2. I just can’t do it.
I can’t cook for a group under 6.
No matter how much I try, things just grow out of hand.
For instance this evening.
Now yesterday I’d made a batch of biscuits. Nothing fancy, just out of the box biscuits. Tasty but missing something.
Tonights midnight cooking inspiration was to concoct some sausage country gravy to go with the biscuits.
Mind you, I have little more than a dozen biscuits left. I only wanted to make a small pot of gravy.
So here’s how it went.
MJ dethaws the Jimmy Dean and tosses is into the pan.
“Honey?! What’s the ingredients for country gravy? General white sauce right? flour, oil, milk maybe?”
“Yeah, that’s about right.”
“OK~!”
MJ takes the cooked ground sausage out the pan.
MJ uses a small bowl to mix olive oil with flour to create a roux and mixes is well. Measuring by instinct and her hands only. Looks like less than a cup at most of flour. Paltry it seems.
MJ tosses is into the pan to cook and brown, stirring as it bubbles. She tosses in salt.
MJ adds in a a 2 cups of milk and walks to the compy to watch a silly video about the security db/login/flaws of a certain microblogging everywhere messaging service.
MJ goes back to the pot to realize “HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKS THICK”.
MJ adds a cup of water to the pot to thin it out, stirring it vigorously so it’s lump free.
MJ adds a cup of water to the pot to thin it out, stirring it vigorously so it’s lump free.
MJ adds a cup of water to the pot to thin it out, stirring it vigorously so it’s lump free.
MJ adds a cup of water to the pot to thin it out, stirring it vigorously so it’s lump free.
MJ adds a cup of water to the pot to thin it out, stirring it vigorously so it’s lump free.
MJ waves hands exasperatedly in the air exclaiming that gravy is like the TRIBBLES. IT JUST GETS OUT OF CONTROL.
MJ moves the gravy into a larger pan and turns off the heat before adding the sausage back into the gravy, making sure the only lumps in her gravy are from the sausage.
MJ sits at the table at midnight, wondering what on earth she will make to go with the gravy after the biscuits run out.
So what on earth shall I do with all this FUCKING GRAVY.
…
…
At least it’s quite tasty.