GeekGirlCollisions Posts

23Feb
5

Modern Fashion

Today’s Installment of chic fashion advice for the geekery and upwardly mobile.

Step 1: Twist hair into bun and hold atop otherwise disguised, cube shaped head.
Step 2: Take 1 Letter opener (LOTR or 3 Musketeers) from the Pen & Pencil Caddy. Make sure it’s clean and that you haven’t accidentally cut cheese with it while in the office earlier in the weak. If cheese laden, lick swiftly before anyone looks.

Step 3: Stab through said bun, avoiding terribly significant parietal lobe.

Step 4: Weave through hair and hold.

Step 5: Take 1 Binder Clip (Large) and clip together end of the hair bun to letter opener. Check to make sure it is secure.

If your hair is too slippery, consider if cheese residue on the letter opener might have added appropraite texture to “grab and hold” hair in place.

Thrust out hands to your side and jut out chest as if you’re a Romanian gymnast who’s just perfected a triple back flip something or other dismount.

Shout out ” Hup Hup Hup!’

et Voila!
Instant chic office geekery fashion!

Photo_02

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions, General
21Feb
8

Pucker Up.

Rumors are true.

I’m going to SXSW.

Posted by Min Jung in Elsewhere in the Bloggerati, GeekGirlCollisions, General, Mischief & Events, Techie Miscellani
03Feb
2

Geek Girl Collision 02.03.05

Sure sign that the new boom is back:

Slightly balding middle 30s white guy in teeshirt, jeans, and overcoat
Spotted driving down the bikelane in San Francisco towards down town
On a Segway.

< sarcasm >
That’s so fricking rawkstar.
Man, does that totally make me wanna like…get with him, you know. I think my nipples just popped. < /sarcasm >

It’s like the equivalent of a red ferarri in LA, I swear.

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions, General
29Dec
1

Min Jung’s Half Assed Predictions for 2005 and Beyond

I am not responsible for these predictions. They came out of my ass. Or at least half of my ass. The left cheek isn’t fessing up to any accountability.

1. Wireless phone providers will integrate and apply the social networking phenomena:
Moving beyond current uses explored in other countries like the UK for “toothing” for cruising and dodgeball for spontaneous social interactions, wireless service providers will build or acquire online social networks to retain their user base and provide more social profile information to their subscribers. Once you get a new person’s phone number and they’re on the same service plan as you, you’ll be able to access personal profile information which individuals may choose to share online. Upcoming.org and Evite or similar services will become integrated with the Wireless service provider directly to provide reminders of planned events,directions, (incorporating voice activated or sms information like TellMe) and rendezvous with colleagues, friends and family. Individuals may elect to include GPS tracking information or not. Pay phones make a comeback among the paranoid.

2. Transparent Messaging
Automobiles will come with an option to include glass that allows for transparent messaging that will appear on the glass but will not inhibit safe driving. Defaults will include “Slow” “Help” and “Maps”. Individuals may hack into these systems to bring cruising to the next level with their number or custom messages like “Get off my ass, you lame driver.” or “I am so more faster and furioser than u” Those annoying RedBull trucks — oh yeah baby. Even more annoying. Messages will also be used to help identify stolen vehicles as these will be controllable remotely. Lo jack to the next level.

3. Civic Online Identities
Each individual will be issued an online identity by which they will be able to maintain all civic activities. Paying taxes, registering vehicles, voter registration and voting, checking out books, and taking care of fines. A resurgence of digital civic activity will change the way that citizens behave and interact with their local communities. Local politics will take center stage since folks are more than generally bored or depressed as hell about national and international politics. Taking after the techsavvy mobilization utilized in Korea’s last presidential election, organizers will utilize SMS, IM, and videoblogbroadcasting to encourage and deploy more aggressive tactics.

4. Hacking P2P networks – New Frontiers
Some very clever geeks will create a distributed broadband based media sharing network utilizing bandwidth from one of the mogul cable providers and disk space on the digital video recorders. (DVRs).

5. Interactive Multimedia Porn
Taking on the best of Subservient Chicken and the Stepford Wives, Paris Hilton will position herself any way you wish, pant, gasp, gag, and talk on the cell phone while hundreds of horny young men living in their mother’s basement put on head phones and *cough* plug themselves into a USB or Firewire vagina. Piggybacking and going beyond Apple’s multi-color variations, the interactive vagina will also come in furry and non furry varieties. Disposable post-ejaculatory sleeves will be available in packs of 40 or 100.

And what are your predictions?

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions, General, Techie Miscellani
17Nov
2

DUDE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNIE!

One year older. Hopefully this year involves less puking than your first birthday party I attended.

Some Very Fond Memories:

(more…)

Posted by Min Jung in Elsewhere in the Bloggerati, GeekGirlCollisions, General, Mischief & Events
10Nov
2

GeekGirlCollisions

Meeting with my Coach today occasionally breaks my head.

I’m not used to having so many epiphanies and tough realizations. Especially when coupled with tools and ideas to adjust or improve certain behaviors and situations. It’s weird.

An analogy that came up — that felt… oddly just right.

Maybe, it makes sense if I consider myself a very complicated (or perhaps not so complicated) web page.

There is visually immediate data within the hypertext and then there is the meta data. And only those truly bored or near and dear to me might choose to scour through the source code (and tease me about how ugly some of the innards are in there — ewww tables… — i’m not compliant…but then again have I ever really been?)

I put out how I choose to be received within each environment that I’m in.

And maybe it’s just a CSS stylesheet that determines how I appear to others in different environments: Work, Personal, Family, Romantic, Social, Creative, Political.

But the content’s still me. Right?

That doesn’t change, does it? And it’s accepted and respected by all, isn’t it? So what makes me so ridiculous that I put out the wrong stylesheet for the wrong environment? Project the social stylesheet when with Family to shock? The creative stylesheet at work so I seem like a hippy/slacker in flip flops? The Romantic stylesheet at well…I gotta work on that one anyway because that’s all jacked up…or maybe it just needs more lipstick. Etc. Etc.

Talking with a friend re: the notion of semi-permeable blogging or permission/relationship-based content access has made me wonder if I need to rethink how I live my life IRL vs just here.

It’s a struggle not to be so hyper-reactive or responsive in certain environments. For someone who’s grown up feeling powerless during a lot of her life, the whole notion of not fighting back and accepting things for what they are…for not responding to every thing…is both terrifying and hard as I’ve conditioned myself to a particular behavior. It’s made me into the exact opposite of the “mouse’ which I was while growing up. But going from one extreme to the other and using that as a blanket design in all the environments of my life isn’t appropriate either. What if someone’s reading me on just a mobile device after all?

How much relationship information or personal information needs to be immediately accessible and visible to everyone who crosses my path and why am I so insistant with the notion that everyone love and adore me for all that I am while thrusting my faults and failures to the forefront? That’s not necessary. I can, just, relax after all.

Maybe go to the beach again. I do so love listening to the ocean. I adore listening to rain too. I want to sit in my car as the drops hit the sunroof in a flurry that makes everything new again and clean. This is why I love car washes too, you know.

…

It’s a lot of navel gazing.
And cleaning up some code.

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions, General, Just Me, Life Lessons, Today's Thunk
23Sep
2

GeekGirlCollisions

Continued:

Recent discussions reveal my true geekdom.

O. asked the other night, which universe I would prefer to live in.
Starwars, StarTrek, or LOTR.

My answer before reading Empire vs Federation debate?

Oh man, dare I reveal my geekery?

I would, hands down, prefer the Starwars world.
One where people and economics and politics and powerplay are reasonably famliar as my own. Where people are fucked up and dysfunctional and oftentimes swear but are real. Where the force can be revealed in anyone and no genetic predisposition generates skillsets by species driven phenotype ( a la character skill sets in LOTR universe). Technology and guts and the energy of the universe determine destiny in the Starwars universe.

Oh let’s debate, shall we?

The original discussion started out with an inquiry on what type wedding would be the best. In which case I’d guess LOTR as there’d be lots of good food and wine. But then again, them Ewoks can really party. Trekkies? Too involved in behing highly civilized and well behaved and mature and polite to well — get down and boogie and accidentaly talk a friend of the bride’s home to bed with you.

Thunks of your own?

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions
20Sep
0

Points for the CamGirl

Yes. I confess, I’m a former cam girl.

Which must be the reason why I’ve apparently outgeeked Tantek & Matt re: this nifty little toy.

Ichat Streaming Icon

I get to chat with friends while preening on the cam at the same time.
Or better yet, peeps on my list can watch the back of my head and see me ignoring them and the laptop in real time so they don’t have to guess on my activities/availability. Particularly handy if I have the Itunes status on at the same time.

Product Description:
This Cocoa app works together with iChat AV to change your static buddy icon into an animation or a real video preview of yourself. Works with any Quicktime compatible video camera like: iSight, iBot, most USB or DV Firewire cams.

Isight + Ichat = GeekGirlCollision Webcam Chickiepoo

Now where the hell did I put that amazon wishlist – haha!

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions
17Sep
0

GeekGirlCollisions

Another one:

Wanting to get a silver nailpolish manicure that matches the keyboard of your mac.
Cuz it’s all about coordination.

The RSI is acting up.
May not blog muchly in the next few days which means….
More photo snapping likely instead.

Gotsta mix it up, yo.

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions
27Dec
Off

A response to spam.

I like spam. In ghetto-ass kimchi jjigheh.
I like it fried with rice & peas & carrots.
I even like it fried crispy with kimchi.

I do not like it on my computer.

To Mr. Mumbutto Salamakar – I cannot help you. You are misguided. I have empathy for your plight and the recent loss of your father. But TOUGH SHIT MOTHER FUCKER.

I do NOT need a bigger dick.

I do NOT need to get viagra to stay up all night. Batteries and a pocket rocket work just fine for me, thanks.

I do NOT need the ultimate colon cleansing system.

If it were really possible to make thousands of dollars within weeks, I recommend that *you* spammers get in touch with Mr. Mumbutto Salamakar.

I do NOT need a cable filter. Hahha. With my day job, I get all the channels I want for FREE.

I like Ebay but have no intention of trying to make a living off of that site by selling used panties or belly button lint.

I do not need 3 silk ties for $3. Though I’m very good at tying ties and used to do that for my brother while growing up.

If I wanted to totally twink out, I’d *Maybe* be interested in the diet pills from canada or mexico. As I’m down to the weight I want to be at, again TOUGH SHIT MOTHER FUCKER.

Despite my father’s wishes, I really am *NOT* interested in finding Christian Singles online.

Nor am I interested in sweaty slutty russian teenagers.

No interest in HGH, Botox, or Bigger boobs. Ok, maybe the bigger boobs, but I’m jest relying on prayer when it comes to that.

I don’t even open emails that say “Children Come First” as I’m scared it’s pedopheliac porn ads.

My car already has a fine warranty program.

And should I want a degree, trust me, it won’t be from an “accredited” location that I’m spammed from.

*sigh*

Blessings to “With an H Biyatch” for installing the spam blacklist from my mt comments today. Hurray.

Posted by Min Jung in FoodyFoody, GeekGirlCollisions, Techie Miscellani
19Mar
0

SXSW 2003

SXSW 2003 Update #4 – Oy Veh

Do you ever have a moment where suddenly, in a flash, you recall something ridiculously stupid that you’ve done recently?
Oh… like…completely faceplanting while *trying* to look athletic?

Or… the time you had 3 guys stuff bills into your G-String?

Or.. the discussion you had with some really really really smart & talented people and all you could come up with was a burping contest against Zeldman? Or actually *having* that burping contest (not against Zeldman but vs Scott? I roxored him).

Or… calling my dad, live, in public, with the desperate hope to have him say that he loves me in front of an audience? Because these fantastically warm and wickedly wonderful two guys gave me the opportunity to?

Or… howling *”WOO WOOO” like Bubb Rubb at 3 in the morning with a CSS Gawd?

Or.. consideration of various chatroom terrorist activities involving Raging Cow.

I cannot express my utter mortification further.

… I’m still not done reliving the moments, yo. Bear with me.

Posted by Min Jung in Elsewhere in the Bloggerati, GeekGirlCollisions, General, Mischief & Events
09Mar
0

SXSW 2003

SXSW 2003 Update #1:
Brief Highlights. Photos to come.

Friday: Got up at 4:45 AM to grab my bags, Ernie, and to get to the Airport. As travel companions go, we’re pretty decent. Not only do we manage to fly through lines, waits, and potty breaks with ease, but we don’t make fun of each other too much when we’re cycling through moments of perkiness or sleeping with our mouths open while on the plane.

Mark was kind enough to grab us at the airport. We checked into the hotel after eating fantastic vegetarian cuisine at Mother’s Garden in the college part of Austin. Yes there are vegetarians in TX. Who’d a thunk it with the usually well broadcasted messages regarding Texan meat consumption.

Jeremy, aka Hot Abs or Power Bottom, is, as usual, a hurricane of energy and vulgarity. But he still giggles like a 6 year old little girl when I tickle his ear. It’s cute. Jeremy, Ernie, and Mark are my roommates this trip and it’s already proven to be a delightfully good time with the guys walking around topless, burping contests (I won) and guitar strumming and spontaneous singing. Ask Ernie about the Watermelon.

Our hotel room at the Omni is conveniently located to overlook Snark Central and we have booze to supplement our general delight and reconvening with folks that we haven’t seen in a while. I become immediately nostalgic for Pirate Jokes a la Alison from last year. (What kind of socks do Pirates wear? ARRRRRRRRRRRRgyle!)

Break Bread with Brad was a hoot at the Stubbs and in spite of the fact that we couldn’t quite here Loretta Lynn play her concert out on the patio deck, good times were still had by all. A 8 shiner day in total. Conveniently and comfortably holding a buzz for about 5 hours is an art.

Saturday: We’re taking full advantage of staying at the Omni by raiding the continental breakfast in our pajamas and slurping down the fresh juice and coffee. They have Peets here. I am delighted by this.

Kickball hosted by Anil followed. I successfully trampled over myself, and skidded with a delightful faceplant. In practice warmups. And missed catching the damn ball. Brilliant. But I looked good and the grass stains made me feel very rugged and sporty. Which under every other circumstance in life, I’m so not.

Salt lick. Barbq. Insane amounts of Barbq. More Barbq. And did I mention the Barbq. Envy me. I do not need to eat for the next 3 days. Who came? Greggy & VJ (From the gay raver cowboy wedding in October), Ernie, Mark, Rannie, Ian Lloyd, John N., Kristin & Jessa.

Abusing my press pass by getting online and working on some writing/emails. Woot.

Nap. Utterly necessary.

GSDM Party: Some snarking, not much. Mostly chatting it up with old friends again. And feeling a little stunned when put on camera by Ryan, a friend of Alison’s.

El Sol y La Luna: Live music. A desire to samba. No desire to eat. Lovely Leia in charge and receiving well deserved applause regarding this.

Omni: More snark. Yes Mena, we all love you. Honest. Had a fantastic conversation with Andre regarding family relationships impacted re: technology and the lost art of notes and letter writing. Note to self, I must write a love letter to my Dad. I’m overdue.

Aaron Swartz arrived, couldn’t check into the hotel, so I helped him store his luggage temporarily up in our room. Jish & I promptly then put a rum and coke in his hands. Can I go to jail for that? Hee.

I have successfully made HotOrNot’s founder James Hong feel insecure. That’s what you get for having me score only a 5.3 on your gawddamn site. Fucker. (Joking).

Massages for everyone soon followed. Hey man, if I can’t be gawddamn brilliant, I can be gawddamn charming. And to have everyone want to put themselves in my hands for a rubdown is what I’ll probably be remembered for this trip. *Cheeky Grin*.

I forgot how many rum & cokes I drank. Too many. Slight hangover this morning but I’m working it.

Sunday: Made it into John Styn’s Panel regarding how the internet has impacted our lives. Intimate, fun, and honest. Had him playfully refer to being Asian as a crippling disability (To Ernie). I promptly interrupted him to shake my fist wildly and say “White Man! Why must you always oppress me!”

Photos with Rannie. Hoo Hah. Can’t wait until I see them.

More to come.

Posted by Min Jung in Elsewhere in the Bloggerati, GeekGirlCollisions, General, Mischief & Events, Techie Miscellani
04Mar
0

News Updates

News Updates

#1. Still dating for tech support. (cheeky grin)

#2. Cheyenne is a dork and I need my sweaters back.

#3. SXSW is around the corner and Austin looks cold.

#4. Antibloggies have arrived. I’d like to nominate East/West for BEST HETEROSEXUAL WEBLOG. Cuz hell, they’re part of the community.

#5. I’d like to nominate myself for BEST USE OF BLOG FOR PERSONAL BENEFIT (DATES, SEX, WORK). Why? Because it’s significantly improved my social life (ie/excuses to date for tech support). Because I’ve gotten over my celibacy hump. Because my blog has helped me improve my comic timing in writing to actually get paid for some of the shiznit that I write. Scary, I know. Whatcha think Dave? Leia? Come *on*! I have smooched more bloggers than I can shake a stick at! At least one contestant from all of Ernie’s Webgames!

#6. I need to clean, pack, prep, & shop.

#7. I have most recently dreamt of spoons, magical fudge which makes you waterproof, and how uncomfortable wet shorts can be.

Posted by Min Jung in Elsewhere in the Bloggerati, GeekGirlCollisions, General
31Mar
0

Scam Artist

03/31/01

The Most Pathetic Attempt at a scam ever.

to min jung
PLEASE MAKE THIS REAL FOR ME.
My parents, my family tried to make it impossible for me to be independent, to use my brain to survive. They did not want me to exist, unless I depended on them, because they want to take everything I have. I feel they want to give me brain cancer. My parents, my family don’t give me money to make me not progress, and get older, so they can have more emotion. I have $657. U r key to my help. I called airline, price of plane
ticket range from $700 to $1200. See me in person u know seriousness of my situation. More I want to say. If you not help me, you are helping my destroyers.
I hope you are the good girl I’ve been looking for all my life. Girl only I want to be with. You can write to me at PO BOX 2425 Mission Viejo CA 92690. You can page me by calling this number 001-1-949-606-7519, you can leave voice message, a phone number and time I can call you. I not answer immediately because my pager not on. I check for messages throughout day. My actual number is 1-949-606-7519. If that does not work, call your international operator to find out way to call me.

My laptop is breaking down. Some keys are difficult to press. I am concerned about my health. You are another part of me. Only you can stop this mutilation of my life.
I change my number: My name is Eric Walter. I want to be singer of pop
music. I know you don’t know me. I want to meet you. Lets get to know each
other. I recorded 10 karaokie songs in studio. I want to live with oriental
girl(s) only (no smoking prefer).

On February 7, 2001, chest xray on me exposed spot in one of my three lobes in left lung. I got no money, no job. No one let me work. You are my only hope. Please be my helper. No one let me think. No one let me earn money. I want to live with you. Please financially support me. Please purchase my airplane ticket and mail it to me, so I can fly to Seoul Korea, and pick me up at the airport. Ticket cost near $800. I pay money you back. When I move, when I think, people bother me, to stop me.
Please help me when my face is youthful. When my face loses its youth,
my singing dream may end. I have one trunk, one suitcase, one backpack, two briefcases. I cannot wait longer. You MUST help me. My life in your hands. I want to fill my oriental girls life with my magical music, hopefully bringing in lots of
money Please like me no matter what.
I am coming to Seoul Korea. If you not help me I be homeless.
I am in emergency. I am in serious trouble and danger I am in. I found
you on internet. Police, lawyers, psychologists have been called to bother
me. I am 25 year old Korean. My height is five foot eleven inches. My weight is 162 pounds. I am at apartment about one hour below Los Angeles. Prescription to my glasses, for right eye: sph 4.00 cyl +.75 ax 100, left eye: sph 3.50, cyl +.75, ax 70. I went to community college for three years and got gpa 3.20. I went to
University of California for four years and got gpa of 3.156. I left college
at June of 2000, got few jobs, and I got few jobs in movies as extra and got
few hundered dallors. I spent all my money. My hobbies are making up
stories, acting, listening to music. I like music of Michael Jackson.
At 1994, I was seen on Superbowl halftime event with Michael Jacskon. I
was part of event. I was seen on MTV jumping up and down about 30 feet from
Michael Jackson on stage. I was also heard on American Music Awards at 1994,
calling to Michael Jackson.
Please not tell anyone about me. My plan is secret between I and you. I
not joking. I like to write storys for you someday. I like to listen to music with
you, watch movies with you, work out with you. I also like traveling with
you to nice places. I want to learn the real value of life with you, and together pursue it.
This is emergency. I am not joking. Please help me. You are my only
hope. I will send you more pictures if you ask me. Tell me if you not get my picture. I will send it again. I am in serious danger. I am in emergency. You must help me. You must. I am being emotionally and physically mutilated by the hour by people around me. Please save me from my grizzly hell, my grizzly horrifying massacre of my life. Words cannot describe the torture I am going through. No one will let me think one thought or have one feeling. I am being
destroyed by the second. More I like to say to you. Please make my dream
come true.

Please call my number. I want to talk to you. I am bloody serious. People are destroying me by the second, with every thought and breath they have. They are secretly killing me. I am not joking. Please secretly save me.
Eric

My Response
Sorry but I can’t be your sugarmommy plus I’m not in Seoul to help you out.
Best of luck to you but you seem awful creepy.
Laters,
MJ

He writes back
To Min Jung
Thank you for answering. I have been trying since June in usa to get
album made, sending my kaorokie tape to record companies, no luck. I like to
pursue my career as pop singer in Korea.
I like to live with you. I am in emergency, no joke. Please help me.
Email me your phone number, time I call you. I got your screen name on aim.
eric

My Response
Um,
you’re totally creeping me out and I’ve forwarded your messages to a lawyer pal of mine to investigate the validity of your messages.

Please do not contact me.

His Response
#1: To min jung
Lets talk on aim.
eric

#2: To Min Jung
Please don’t send my message to lawyer.
eric

#3: min jung
please give me your phone number, if its okay with you, i like to talk
to you, i am in emergency, no joke, i like to live with you,
eric

#4: to Lydia
The Summer is coming soon. It will be too hot for me too stay in this
apartment. So I must leave soon.
PLEASE MAKE THIS REAL FOR ME.
My parents, my family tried to make it impossible for me to be
independent, to use my brain to survive. They did not want me to exist,
unless I depended on them, because they want to take everything I have…..

********************************So with that? Who *are* the proper authorities to contact in the case of a scam like this?

If you’re painfully sympathetic or naive and would like to contribute to eric’s cause, i’ve left ample opportunity for you to contact him via his email address, linked above.
Tell him I say hi, would you? Thanks.

Min Jung

PS PART II

ON IM – Boy, do I attrack the freaks or what?

waterfllagoon: u alone u girl?
Mjkim1974: is this eric walter?
waterfllagoon: yup
Mjkim1974: leave me alone.
waterfllagoon: i like u
waterfllagoon: i like to be ur frien
Mjkim1974: i sent your emails to my lawyer friend
Mjkim1974: please desist from contacting me.
waterfllagoon: is lawyer girl?
Mjkim1974: lawyer is a guy.
waterfllagoon: please i hope u lieing
Mjkim1974: nope.
Mjkim1974: so stop now.
waterfllagoon: no please tell me u not send it
waterfllagoon: tell truth
Mjkim1974: truth
waterfllagoon: oh no
waterfllagoon: u shouldnt do that to me
waterfllagoon: u trying to destroy me
waterfllagoon: why you do this
waterfllagoon: not good
Mjkim1974: because you are running a gross scam.
waterfllagoon: no
waterfllagoon: u not understand
waterfllagoon: u see from different perspective
waterfllagoon: u think i joking
waterfllagoon: i up at almost two am
waterfllagoon: please let me live with u
waterfllagoon: i like u
waterfllagoon: u make me horny
waterfllagoon: please be nice to me
waterfllagoon: u give me erection now
waterfllagoon: my penis going up rub against thigh
waterfllagoon: penis now rub laptop
waterfllagoon: i like u
waterfllagoon: please be nice to me
waterfllagoon: i think of ur pictures i sent u
Mjkim1974: go away.
waterfllagoon: why
waterfllagoon: i on knees to u
Mjkim1974: Because you are totally creeping me out.
Mjkim1974: Go away.
waterfllagoon: i kiss lik ur toes
waterfllagoon: tie me up
waterfllagoon: lok me with no clothes in box from fri to mon

And with that, I take VJ’s advice & block him off my list.
Ewww…
Oh why the hell am I the freak magnet?

Posted by Min Jung in GeekGirlCollisions, General, Techie Miscellani
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