FoodyFoody Posts

Those who talk to me on a regular basis know that I’ve spent far too much time sequestered at home satisfying my obsessive interest in culinary adventures by watching a crapload of Food TV.

And then you’ll hear me talk shit about Bobby Flay.
  <—– Asshat

Hubbycakes thinks I dislike him because he wears a gold watch. He might be right

Who I swear must have it in his contract that he’s not allowed to lose any notable  battles of Iron Chef America but thankfully loses the occasional Throwdown.

My bias against Bobby Flay is long term resentment-filled grudge  of seeing him on an episode of Iron Chef Japan where at the end of the battle he jumped up on his cutting board with his shoes on and was dressed down by Morimoto for being a shithead that didn’t properly respect the sacred nature of his tools and profession as chef.  Yo Morimoto, you and me : looking eye to eye.

So during Iron Chef America, I endlessly roll my eyes at Bobby Flay and overlay Alton Brown’s commentary with my own shouts at the television.

“Ooh let me create a tamale with that and … ummm put a mango salsa on that.”

“Let me guess. Put a fucking chipotle ragu of some fucksauce on top of that”

“Oh shit, let me guess, you’re going to put some fucking avocado cilantro aioli on that. Again. ”

I’m so not a fan of him.

But I *do* admit that I enjoy watching him in Throwdown.

Why? Because the show exemplifies his douchiness.

The concept of the show is this.  Bobby Flay travels the country to try and show up regional experts in their various dishes of expertise.  And it’s not like he even does the research or work by himself but instead has two kitchen techs/recipe testers effectively look up and do all the legwork for him. And his cocky ass then goes up and issues a throwdown.

How delighted am I when he gets his ass served.

Favorite episodes seen recently where Bobby Flay loses?

• Dumpling Throwdown  (Winner adorable pink cheed Sohui Kim)
• Sushi Throwdown (Winner Philip Yi) (Flay fucks up the rice. Badly. *After* Getting tips from Morimoto.)
• Padthai Throwdown (Winner Nongkran Dak)
• Chocolate Breadpudding Throwdown (Winner  Jerome Chang and Chris Chen)

Do I enjoy these episodes more because it’s Asian American cooks beating his ass down? Quite possibly.  Because you can’t put a fucking tamale into Asian cuisine.  Ok the breadpudding is clearly not of Asian cooking tradition, but that was still hella fun to watch.

And for the first time in several years I am officially being shoo’ed out of the kitchen and have no part in feeding my various friends and  collaborating mischief makers.  This is one of my biggest regrets around leaving SF this year and it hurts a little to be so far from my friends and make-shift family for whom I’ve grown to love and laugh with over the years.

So with little recourse than to send psychic hug vibes to all friends and family near and far, I am compiling my fave thanksgiving recipes in one place for my friends.

Enjoy.

MJ’s Awesome Pumpkin Curry Soup

• 1 Can Pumpkin
• Equal parts Vegetable Broth & Water (2 cups each)
• Golden Curry Mix (Spicy) (4 -5 “mini blocks”)
• Honey (1/4 -1/2 cup)
• Salt
• Nutmeg (1 tsp)
• Ground Clove (1 tsp)
• Cinnamon (1 tsp)
• Curry Powder (4 tsp)
• Cornstarch
• Sour Cream and Fresh Chopped Cilantro to Garnish

Again, I don’t really measure things and depending on how much you’re making and your personal tastes, you can always tweak this recipe to your liking.
These are my base ingredients.

First off, I put the vegetable broth & water in a big pot and bring it up to medium/high.

I then chop up the curry mix to make it super quick/easy to dissolve and toss into the water.
Add in the honey, and spices (except the salt) and the cornstarch (dissolved in cold water first, of course).

The baseline consistency should be of a thin curry … like of a nice creamy tomato soup.

Bring to quick boil and skim off the foam. Bring down to a medium/medium low heat.

Then you crack open and toss in the Pumpkin. Not pie filling, just 100% pure pumpkin.

You go from a funky green/brown color to a beautiful mellow orange.

At this point, taste & tweak the seasoning to add salt, and if necessary, continue to thicken just a little bit. Sweet tooth? A touch more honey. Ideally, you hit a nirvana point of it being more curry spicy and pumpkin rich. The point of the soup by itself is that it *should* be very strong in curry taste. That’s why you don’t serve it by itself.
Right before you serve, you pull out your fresh cilantro and sour cream. Whip up the sour cream just a little bit. Chop roughly your cilantro. Right before serving, sprinkle your fresh cilantro on the top and add a dollop of sour cream to the center. Serve while toasty warm.

Go Yum.

Tomato Basil Happy

• Ripe Heirloom Tomatoes
• Sea Salt
• Fresh Basil sliced in a Chiffonade
• Fresh Mozzarella
• Rice Vinegar
• Olive Oil
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Crackers or lightly toasted bruschetta
• Black Pepper

In small bowl mix 3 tablespools olive oil, 1 table spoon good balsamic vinegar, 1 teaspoon rice vinegar, salt & pepper to taste.

Layer sliced cheese on crackers or bruschetta and then layer thing sliced tomatoes

Brush or drizzle dressing over tomatoes

Sprinkle with fresh basil and serve

Kimchi Jjigheh a la Min Jung

• 1 Jar of sour old Kimchi  (the more sour, the better)
• Pork Shoulder cubed
• Extra Firm Tofu cubed
• Onion chopped
• Gochujjang (Korean spicy bean paste)
• Gochugaru (Krazy korean spicy red pepper)
• Summer squash cubed
• Rice wine vinegar
• Sesame Oil
• Bacon Chopped
• Butter
• Salt
• Pepper
• Brown Sugar

Unfortunately I’m not supplying any measurements here because it always varies depends on how much kimchi I have left so you just have to juggle and balance it out yourself.  When in doubt start off in an extra large pot and add/balance as you go along.

Medium Heat: Brown pork with salt and red pepper flakes  with chopped onion until onions are transparent and pork is browned on all sides.

Drain oil well.

Add Kimchi to pot with pork and onions, squash, bacon and tofu with enough water to cover. Set to boil and once at boil, reduce to medium simmering heat to cook through. 1-2 tablespoons of gochujang to add heat.

Skim oil from pork fat off.

Add a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar to balance the sour of the kimchi and add 1 tablespoon of butter and splash of sesame oil to balance/mellow flavors.

If you want more sour add vinegar. Less sour, balance with small amounts of butter & brown sugar.

Simmer until cooked through and flavors have mellowed.

You may question to logic behind removing one form of fat and adding back another form of fat to this recipe. Just trust me. It is the yum.

Serve with rice.

Kalbi (My Mom’s way)

Marinade

• Soy sauce (1 cup)
• Rice wine vinegar (1/4 cup)
• Sesame Oil (2 tablespoons)
• Brown Sugar (1/4 cup)
• Crushed Fresh Kiwi (1)
• Fine chopped garlic (4 cloves)
• Fine chopped onion (1 medium)
• Toasted Sesame Seeds (1 tablespoon)
• Chopped fresh green onions (2-3 stems)

Korean shortribs (4-6 lbs)

Mix marinade in large bowl or huge ziplock bag

Toss and mix thoroughly

Toss in shortribs.

Let  marinade for 2-3 hours.

Grill, broil or panfry and serve.

Jjapchae – korean noodles.

There are no measurements because, frankly, I don’t really use them and if you want measurements you can find them in other recipes online.

Ingredients:

1. Cellophane Noodles
2. Onions
3. Garlic
4. Spinach
5. Eggs
6. Carrots
7. Shitake Mushrooms
8. Soy Sauce
9. Sugar
10. Sesame Oil
11. Mirin
12. Garlic Powder
13. Salt & Pepper
14. Sesame Seets

First Steps: Making the Eggs! – Whip them up. Fry in a non stick pan. Salt & Pepper to Taste and cut into thin strips.

Next up: Spinach. Sautte lightly in salt, pepper, & olive oil.

Next up: Carrots. Use a mandolin to cut into as thin slices as possible. Sautte lightly in salt, pepper, & olive oil.

Next up: Mushrooms and Onions: Slice into thin strips. Sauttee together and season with soysauce pepper and little olive oil. I use soysauce instead of salt here as Mushrooms tend to superabsorb flavors and seasonings and I have more control with soy sauce than salt for even distribution of yum.
Yes that’s a lot of olive oil from the sounds of it. But it’s not really. And it’s a healthy oil. So shut the fuck up.

Next up the Noodles. Boil per the directions on the package an then rinse in cold water and drain well. Put the noodles into an everyday pan. I have this one.

Toss and season on medium low heat with soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic powder, sugar, pepper, and Mirin.

And then!

OOhhhh

Put it all together.

And toss!

When presenting the final product, sprinkle sesame seeds on top.

aka – please if you’re going to bioengineer my food, do something like this.

Dear Universe,

Engineer for me a flavor neutral root vegetable that, when cooked with meats, absorbs excess fat and maintains distinct and unique solid structure such that said root can be carefully extracted from the frying pan.

Said root vegetable could then be easily composted, (leaving my cooking notably less oily but without putting me in harms way by trying to extract oil myself from the pan — this always ends in tragedy).

Solution Benefits =

Less fat in my cooking.

Nutrient-rich ready-made compost.

No splatter burns or messy disposal of extra fat.

I’ll also take some sort of temperature resistant non-toxic fatsponge item.