Her. ..you know what I recommend at a time like this?
Moi: what?
Kb: your vitamins…
Moi: yeah..it couldn’t hurt
kb: especially vitamin booty. You’re looking a little deprived
moi: …
Kb:…(arched brow)
moi: its when you say shit like that that makes me want to kiss you and strangle you at the same time
kb: oh hon, I’m not into that […]
So sayeth “she”
“Success and Love are similar in these two aspects. People fear, desire, and sabotage both these things. The savvy and clever bury the corpses of these honesties. The foolish wind up gnawing on them.”
Kissing Bandit: My darling darling darling woman!
Moi:And a long time indeed checking in with you. How goes it?
Kissing Bandit: Grand grand. Oh, life does get better every year, doesn’t it?
Moi: Eh, depends on your attitude.
Kissing Bandit: Oh poo. Why must you always be an irritating pragmatists?
Moi: Oh, cuz the world is full of beautiful […]
I’m definitely my own social networking application and tracking tool at SXSW this year.
People know exactly where I’ve been and who I’ve met in TOTAL transparency which seems to be an ongoing theme for this week.
My smooches are everywhere.
EVERYWHERE.
And the pix are proof.
Kissing Bandit: I got a seeeeeeeeeeeeeeecret!
Moi: What’s his name and damage this time.
Kissing Bandit: La la la la la la la
Moi: And?
Kissing Bandit: La la la la la la la
Moi: Out with it!
Kissing Bandit: I’m in lurve.
Moi: Are you serious?
Kissing Bandit: Yes.
Moi: Are you blushing?
Kissing Bandit: Yes.
Moi: Is his dick big?
Kissing Bandit: Yes.
Moi: Ah, […]
KB Wisdom.
“A man who says he’s working late on Valentine’s day is cheating on you. With his other girlfriend.”
Kissing Bandit: Feeling better yet?
Moi: Not really. Sort of. Hot & Cold.
KB: Like your…
Moi: …love life. Yeah. Heard that before.
KB: Been there. Done that.
Moi: Yada. Ya know I’ve had a number of folks ask about you.
KB: Oh really? You didn’t give them my number did you?
Moi: Oh hell no. Why would I? […]
Moi: Yo.
KB: Yo!
Moi: Yo.
KB: Yo!
Moi: Yo.
KB:Yo!
Moi: Yooo.
KB: Yo!
Moi: I feel… younger inside.
KB: Stop me from making any of a number of obviously inappropriate statements here.
Moi: BITCH.
KB: Yo.
Moi: Bless me KB for I have sinned.
Kissing Bandit: DISH!
Moi: *whisper whisper whisper*
Kissing Bandit: NO SHIT
Moi: *whisper whisper whisper”
Kissing Bandit: MOTHER FUCKER
Moi: And then *whisper whisper whisper*
Kissing Bandit: OH.MY.FUCKING.GAWD.
Moi: Not to mention *whisper whisper whisper whisper*
Kissing Bandit: GET THE FUCK OUT.
Moi: *blush*
Kissing Bandit: Well…
Moi: Yeah…?
Kissing Bandit: You want absolution?
Moi: Maybe?
Kissing Bandit: I think you just […]
Kissing Bandit: Well, how you holding up?
Moi: You’re smoking on the other end of the line, aren’t you?
KB: (puff puff puff) Yup.
Moi: Bitch.
KB: Never claimed to be otherwise, though…
Moi: Though what?
KB: Well. Just think. The way that I live and my plans for the future have always been rather shortsighted. Because I pretty […]
Kissing Bandit: Detestable.
Moi: What now?
Kissing Bandit: That dreadfully rude behavior.
Moi: What now?
Kissing Bandit: That, that, that… THING!
Moi: Is this a her thing or a him thing.
Kissing Bandit: *shaking hands up at the air*
Moi: Oh. Yeah. Why do you still let it bug you? Have a cigarette and chill darlin’.
Kissing Bandit: […]
Convo w/ the Vain and Silly:
V&S: I need to lose weight.
Moi: Don’t be silly. You’re Gorgeous. Goy-Jeyous!
V&S: Well they say you can never be too rich or too thin.
Moi: Pht.. Sure.
V&S: So I’m trying that whole South Beach Diet thing.
Moi: And that’s going well?
V&S: Eh… it’s ok.
Moi: Me, I’m on that North Beach Diet […]
Moi: Well?
Kissing Bandit: Ugh.
Moi: That bad?
Kissing Bandit: Worse.
Moi: You mean you had to talk to what’s his bucket with the tattoo.
Kissing Bandit: Yup.
Moi: He still had the tattoo.
Kissing Bandit: Yup.
Moi: He still miss you madly.
Kissing Bandit: Yup.
Moi: So what made it bad.
Kissing Bandit:…
Moi: …
Kissing Bandit:…
Moi: No.
Kissing Bandit: Yes.
Moi: No!
Kissing Bandit: uh… Yes.
Moi: NO! FUCKING NO! […]
KB: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK PANCAKES!
Moi: What up, g? Sipping too much of the haterade?
KB: FUCK FUCK FUCKITY LAWN GNOMES FUCK FUCK!
Moi: No, seriously. What up?
KB: FUCKING WEDDING INVITATION WHERE MY EX WILL BE THERE!
Moi: So? You look hot. No big deal. Besides, it’s been *forever*. Right?
KB: FUCK. BUT I GOTTA SIT AT […]
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So I Sez
“I prepared to hurl myself into the diseased water to rescue my beloved canine.”
– My Dog is So Smart
18 June 2006
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