PREGNANT LADY TMI: INSTALLMENT #10. 36 WEEK UPDATE

Timeline:  Week 36

Bump: Excessive.  People keep on telling me that it’s surprising that I’m *so* ready to have this kid out and am carrying it so well. Still it’s a lumbering heavy thing that’s dropped a little lower on my belly and makes me still feel like I’m carrying a very heavy wiggling monster that sits right on top of and heavily headbutts my bladder.

Giggle Activity:

The big news is that the baby has dropped. Which means she’s currently standing on her head and basically isn’t flip flopping anymore.  Which means she could decide to head-bonk her way through and break my water at any point now without much worry about being pre-term.  She’s pretty well near to ready and we’re on Orange Alert.

She’s still hiccuping loads (so much so that other folks have had the delightful opportunity to feel her cute little jiggly dance moves) and she moves around crossing her legs a bit and shaking her various bumps around in me.

Cravings:

Carbs and sweets.

No joke or exaggeration but I had myself a bowl of rice with cooked noodles on top.

And then when it comes to sweets I’m regularly downing PreggerLadyCocktails of Ruby Red Grapefruit juice with Sprite or 7-up.  Pretty much any juice cut half with Sprite seems to be the refreshing and sweet beverage of choice.

Upon last week’s visit to the Ikea to get some furniture to spruce up the new apartment, I enjoyed the Lingonberry juice with Sprite at the cafeteria more than is properly appropriate.  3 lesbian couples followed suit and literally gave me a “hat tip” upon turning them on to this cocktail. 

I think the only way that drink could be better would be if it were a) mixed with gin (and I could have some) or b) blended with crushed ice.

Eris & Coley  have concocted some sort of marvelous alcoholic bevvy that they’ve nicknamed “Giggle” in honor of the baby, after having inventing it at the surprise Baby Shower/Rockband fest last weekend.

Digestion:

Still some heartburn but I think much less since the baby has turned over and dropped.

Also, I’m no longer having any issue with pooping.

I’m pooping with great ease. And in surprising volumes. So much so that I’ve blocked up the toilet twice and am a little embarrassed about the notion of returning to my favorite Korean restaurant in the city where I caused a minor episode of toilet blockage.

This is my Pregnant Lady TMI. You were warned.

Playtime:

• I just want snuggles. And to be able to sleep on my side comfortably without feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

Sleep:

• Sleep schedule is more normalized now except that it’s taking more effort rolling from one side to the other and the kid seems to favor my sleeping on my left.  
• She’s no longer hiccuping as early in the morning to wake me up so for these little things, we’re all very grateful.
• The latest weird dream involved going to a golf range with my cousin from Korea and the losing my wallet at some odd nightclub.

Physical:

• A small faint and lightly purple line has now stretched vertically across the belly.  Apparently this is called the “Linea Negra”.  There are no other stretch marks worth noting and for this I thank good genetics and regular use of Organic Almond Oil as a little rub down.
• As the baby has turned and dropped a little she’s no longer stretching out my ribcage as much. Yet oddly now all my bra’s seem to cut into my ribcage more now.  Time to burn the mother fuckers i guess.
• Belly button is completely popped out now and looks really really weird.   I’d take a picture but I don’t want to gross you out.  
• The feet do swell and turn my tootsies into what appears to be overstuffed vienna sausages at the end of the day.  It’s pretty gross and when it’s either hot or I’ve been walking around a bit during the day, the feet look as if they’re overinflated and likely to stretch and crack my skin.  
• I’ve been progressively more prone to bouts of lighteheadedness and near-fainting which has made me nervous about driving anymore and walking around too much.  They tell me this is normal but I still feel really uneasy and weird about when these episodes happen, especially if I’m home alone.

Mood/Psychology:

• More than a little anxious and ready to be done with this.  The baby can come at any point from here to the next 6 weeks out.  So the notion of immediately dumping out 9 liters of fluid and having big contractions is rather unnerving and then wam, being a MOM feels like a weird combo of impending doom and relief.
• I am, however, extremely grateful at being back in the bay area and surrounded by extremely supportive friends that I’ve had a chance to hang out with over the last couple of weeks since I’ve been back.
• I find it extraordinarily amusing how when I go visit girlfriends, Hubbycakes seems to think that all we do is talk about the state of our vaginas and uteruses.  As if the following conversation occurs.

Overall Grade: A-

If you wanna contribute to my baby’s diaper fund, feel free.