Timeline: Week 32
Bump: Gigantic. Or at least it feels that way to me. And it has roving bumps that move of their own volition.
Not as weirdly creepy looking as *these videos* but pretty up there. I still insist that my belly and baby are surely much cuter. Apparently I totally freaked out my sis Amy with these videos as she only managed about 5 seconds in before having to avert her eyes. I feel you honey, I totally totally feel you.
Giggle Activity:
Oh my gawd is she active. While I find it *hilarious* that the third trimester documentation received from UCSF recommends watching for a “kick count” that is under 10/hour, my little bundle of awesome chooses to kick about 10/minute. She’s a blender of whirls and kicks and spins and wonder.
She also hiccups.
At ungodly hours of the morning for a good hour at a time.
BIG. VIOLENT. HICCUPS.
Now I wonder how such a little thing can hiccup with such volatility that they not only shake and shudder their own body, but can cause visible trembles of my belly through layers of clothing.
To those in the “know”, No. The little girl has not *dropped* yet. She is not yet standing on her head. She finds such notions to be not only silly and premature, but unsuitable for whirling a baseball bat at the inside ribs of her mother.
Cravings:
SWEETS. And TACOS. And Korean Soups.
I laid waste to a decadent chocolate cake. Most of it by myself.
I had a hormonal episode by which my delirious hystrionic sobbing could only be assuaged by danishes.
I have sent my husband out for tacos.
And I’ve eaten Dduk Mandoo Gguk with so much delight that it seemed almost sinful.
Digestion:
I’m pooping *almost* regularly.
I’m needing to run to the restroom pretty regularly though, as the kid seems to enjoy kneeing my bladder.
And I’m persistently burping quietly to myself with a mild case of heart burn.
Playtime:
- Hah. Good one.
Sleep:
- Sleep? What sleep.
- My sleep schedule is officially borked again where I’m woken up by either Giggle’s violent hiccuping and movement or I’m having such bizarre dreams that I’m waking myself up.
- Uber Detail dreams of late include:
- Sitting in a Doctor’s office and being told that I needed to order health supplements for my vagina that came in beer bottles. Yes. Vag Vitamin Beer Bottles.
- Being a Jumper but chased by Daniel Craig who’s out to kill me and having to dive under water to some secret boat dock that for whatever reason also happens to be beneath a Kendo studio.
- Living in an apt building where the maintenance man is Christopher Walken, who also happens to be a serial killer who’s signature is leaving a trail of sesame seeds (from bagels) at the feet of his victims. It’s freaky because as the maintenance guy he’s got KEYS TO ALL THE APTS!
- Having Romantic pirate squabbles with Hugh Jackman on our respective boats as we sail the seas in search of exotic flowers to take back to Venice for sale to “Dandies. Personally I didn’t even realize I *had* a crush on Hugh Jackman until I had this dream.
<===Would make for a very fine Pirate romance.
(Plus, man, does this pic make Orlando Bloom look like such a candypants.)
Physical:
- Lucky. Still no visible stretch marks.
- Back hurts all the time. As do the rib cage which is actively being pushed outwards by cute little feet.
- Belly button is the shallowest it’s ever been.
- Belly in general is a high held smooth dome. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it looks fake. Like a huge prosthetic dome with weird mechanic muppet inside to simulate life.
- No swollen feet or other limbs but that may be because I’m not terribly active these days.
- I feel persistently dehydrated and have to eat smaller portions more regularly as the baby is SITTING on my digestive track and any movement by her can trigger a violent vomiting attack.
- And oh yeah, have we mentioned yet that when I cough or vomit violently I wet my pants a little? WTF is this. No one told me this would happen!
- Recently discovered that I can no longer cross my legs at the knees anymore.
- Also recently discovered that while bending over to try and do laundry, I found myself in a crouch and could barely wrestle my way up.
- Giggle’s crazy in-utero rotations sometimes trigger me to do some concentrated breathing to calm the both of us down.
Mood/Psychology:
- Most notably in the last few weeks I’ve gotten progressively more and more cranky and irritable and fussy.
- I’m annoyed at people easily and impatient with hubbycakes.
- I realize I’ve got about 7 weeks to go but man, I’m about ready for this shit to be done.
- I’m trying really hard to be good humored or at least entertaining about what’s been going on with the pregnancy but at this point I have (as if you couldn’t tell by a couple of my wacky dreams) some anxiety about a lot of the big changes ensuing soon. Move. Baby. Settling in. Etc. Lots and lots to do still and some worries that something, anything could go wrong. Hubbycakes tells me not to worry, that the baby will feel stressed if I do. I punch him in the throat. I resolve to try and be more confident and secure about what’s going to happen in my life over the next few months and thereafter.
- But it’s still a lot.
Overall Grade: B-
If you wanna contribute to my baby’s diaper fund, feel free.