In the spirit of overshare, here’s the latest:
Timeline: Week 13
Bump: Light
Giggle Activity: Felt a flutter/flip of the kid earlier in the week
Cravings: None.
Digestion:
- So constipated that I feel like I’m literally full of shit.
- No appetite. Nothing’s coming in until this shit is out.
- Gas levels are lethal. But intermittent.
- Gurgling is very mild/moderate
- Bladder has become the size of Barbie’s tea cup.
Playtime:
- “Wow. I have cleavage. WTF.”
- ”Um. When did *those* change color
- Do NOT fr*cking accidentally bump them unless you really want a pregnant lady to slap you across the room. Sensitive as all hell.
- The funbags are making their transition into being feedbags. Uh. Great.
- The desire for intimacy has been absolutely supplanted with the desire for a satisfying bowel movement.
Miscellaneous:
- For whatever reason I’ve grown a few dark hairs around my belly button. My belly button now looks like a 15 year old trying to grow out his first mustache. This has been promptly shaved for being absolutely gross.
- Skin feels dry and itchy. Overtime on the moisturizer.
- Sleeping solid and mostly comfortably.
Mood/Psychology:
- Oh, you mean the hicupping histerical weeping during the last 10 minutes of watching The Notebook until my eyes and face are puffy red and swollen and then calming down and giggling immediately after being brought a cookie?
- Or you mean the rage dreams where you replay confrontations with people where instead of taking the calm way out you wind up publically humiliating them in righteous fury that involves fantasy sequences of peanutbutter, red ants, and Betty White?
Overall Grade: B
If you wanna contribute to my baby’s diaper fund, feel free.