MinJungKim.com Braindump v 6.0 Gah. I’m still doing this?

I asked…

Dr.Mcnerdynerdy what he thought of the list I put together for my post on blogher.

The short list of what *really* matters

1. Emotional Availability
2. Emotional Maturity
3. Ettiquete and Manners
4. Ethics and Spiritual/Moral allignment
5. Composure and confidence
6. How well you fit into each others’ lives
7. Sex appeal
8. ShortTerm/LongTerm possibilities/enjoyment
9. Endurance - as in, you won’t get bored with this person over Hors’doerves
10. Do you think that the L-word could be on the horizon with this one.

And he said “Baby, I’m a catch.”

Which made me laugh, because I swear to gawd, he’d let out the most vicious fart just moments before.

And yeah, I know, it’s all sorts of gross. (As in ewww gross and squishy gross)

And on Squishy and PDA etc.

PDA = Public Displays of Affection.

That stuff is wacktacularly unnatural for me. And it’s weird being smitten and in a healthy relationship. After all, my last significant relationship involved a guy, blogger, who was either cheating on his exgirlfriend with me or cheating on me with his next girlfriend and had asked me, nay — begged me, never to blog about him, link to him, or act that he existed on the internet. Actually, the asshole told people that I was a hallucinating/hystrionic liar who had manufactured the entire relationship when people pointed out references to him on this blog.
But that’s neither here nor there. And I do thank the heavens above that I’ve wasted *wasted* no more time in my life or emotional bandwidth on that individual who could treat me and my emotions so carelessly.

So I’ve been cautious and reticent re: writing about personal things and my personal life on here. The occasional bon mot, yes? But the inner workings of my head? Well… yeah. Definitley more reticent about that.

It’s not that I don’t think things are going well. In fact, the opposite. I feel wildly bulletproof re: my emotions in this situation. It’s something I’ve never felt before. But it’s that I still like the notion of intimacy. (And the fact that I’m blogging about my feelings on the notions of intimacy is the meta discussion vs. actually gushing re: my intimate guts — there *is* a difference there.)

My personal relationships are not for public consumption or broadcast. There’s no PR in my romances. I find it horrifically offensive when people put broadcast spin of a web 2.0 nature on their personal relationships. *That*, I find really gross.

For instance, I received a sms msg via Dodgeball from someone I know stating “@ a very romantic place! having a brilliant conversation with my amazing boyfriend”
To which I thought the following:

a) But not saying where you’re at, you kinda defeat the purpose of using dodgeball for its intended purpose

b) if the conversation is so brilliant, why are you dodgeballing in hoping someone will track you down to join you?

c) how amazing is it that this social utility, dodgeball, has been tweaked for such anti-social behavior

d) ok. you guys are squishy. we get it. now can we move on with our lives because the rest of the world really *really* isn’t that interested in your love life. i mean, it’s not like you’re tom cruise and katy holmes. and even them - i don’t really care much about. Not even in that (and don’t draw parallels here) train-wreck kinda way.

I mean, I’ve seen public blog relationships come and go. WTF is the novelty in it and why should anyone care?
Which maybe makes me sound catty.

Or - just too happy in my own situation to wonder why people have to broadcast and rub your nose in their rose garden.
Frankly - it gives me the sneezies.

When I got that msg I thought “OMG, since when do relationships get PR spin to try to prove that things are so amazing?” The answer is usually when things are not going too well. Let’s hope it is just a matter of inappropriate usage. Perhaps it should be called SPLOVE.

Don’t you let him forget what a catch you are too!!!

Kiss kiss!

LOVED this post!

All about relationship and I guess you realize there is no net (sorry for the bad pun).

Here’ my story…

Here I am, an ancient (increasingly fit guy) soon to be 60 in Janaury. Married the first time at the age of 20, 8 children and after 20 years my wife left and I was suddenly a single parent (thank God I was making money at the time).

Thought there was only one love in life at that time (1987) and boy did I learn… Really astonished to fall in love again (dumped again).

In 1990 I met an awesome women but didn’t trust love (the double dumps hurt). However I understood commitment and I had set a little rule in my life that went something like this, “if I ever meet a committed woman I’m going to marry her ass”. Turned out that I married the whole woman (lucky for me).

Flash forward to 1998, all children now grown, invited to China for several months, waking down a street thinking about how awesome Sabrina was and realized that my safety net was “commitment” i.e. not love, thought “Sabrina deserves better and so if I can’t make the move to love (no safety net) then I needed to let her go… Immediately my whole being shouted “NO WAY” and I began to love Sabrina with all my heart, framed a new phrase that very evening “Sabrina, my Darling Wife”.

Fifteen years of marriage so far and hope to make it 50, heck I only have to make it to 95, ought to a cinch!