Dear Lord on High,
If it would be ok with you, I’d really like to ask for a minor boon.
In the last day or so, I’ve had my brain implode.
Not with pain or anxiety or anuirism (how the fuck do I spell that by the way>) but with concern and an extraordinary stretch of my capacities […]
“Daria, do you ever think that guys and girls aren’t ever supposed to understand each other. Like it’s some huge unfunny joke on us that we’ll be struggling with for the rest of our lives? … oh look! Celery stalks”
Just one of the many thunks in my head.
That along with the fact […]
So I’ve been thinking a lot about center pieces.
For no particular reason, really other than the fact that I’d gone to an HBO Rome Miniseries launch event and the centerpieces were particularly huge and I was unable to steal any of them.
At previous events, i’ve been known to carry off a floral arrangement or two. […]
Moi: Uh… Honey… did you borrow my shiseido lip brush to paint your little monsters?
Him: Um…
Moi: Honey?….
Him: Um…
Moi: You’re about to see me go chaotic evil on you.
Avoid getting into an epic battle with anyone who has
a) Their own personal fan machine causing their leather jacket to billow out majestically behind them
b) Who invokes their own stoic crazy badass orchestral musical score.
This I profess to be true. It will end badly. And you’ll just be like Ensign FillInTheNameInTheRedUniform who dies. […]
Her. ..you know what I recommend at a time like this?
Moi: what?
Kb: your vitamins…
Moi: yeah..it couldn’t hurt
kb: especially vitamin booty. You’re looking a little deprived
moi: …
Kb:…(arched brow)
moi: its when you say shit like that that makes me want to kiss you and strangle you at the same time
kb: oh hon, I’m not into that […]
MJ!
Originally uploaded by bmindful.
You know, sometimes the captions just write themselves.
I had a dream last night that I caught a 600LB catfish.
And then I had to find a restaurant who woould fry it up to serve to all my friends.
And then we found a kitten inside the belly of the catfish.
****
I have decided to no longer eat onion rings with blue cheese dressing, and biscuits […]
The most common gap with communication and the frustration resulting from this in the expanse of human experience and social interaction is this:
Everyone, and I mean everyone, foolishly anticipates that people behave in a manner that is within the scope of their paradigms of familiarity.
Except that everyone has their own paradigm of familiarity.
And none of […]
Strap
Originally uploaded by minjungkim.
Dear Inspector #27.
I imagine that you get exhausted with the tedium of your job everyday.
After all, you are personally responsible for the quality approval of hundreds, if not thousands of elegant brassieres today.
Perhaps the cost of this particular brassiere is more than what you earn in a day because you are in […]
The modern single girl in SF does the following on chilly summer evenings.
She plugs in her powerbook to charge and places it in her bed under the covers to warm it up before trying to go to sleep.
…
Man, I’m pathetic.
Top reasons that I know that the terrorists have not won:
1. The Whole Foods grocery store in San Ramon has, in addition to a wide selection of imported olive oils and blended/single varietel orange blossom honeys, an extraordinarily knowledgeable staff in the seafood, meat, and cheese departments, and an assortment of organic vegetables (and low […]
Shows that make me fall in love with TV again.
* The 4400
* So you Think You Can Dance
* Good Eats
* Firefly
* Dead like me (Reruns)
* Weeds (starting this week)
* The L Word
* Huff
* Monk
* Angels in America
* Family Guy
Coming up:
* Rome
…
My ass is definitely going to get big.
The only words I write these days
Are in chipped nailpolish and silver hairs
You’d ask me why I’ve become so quiet
But then again, that’s why you’re there
Instead of sitting on this couch with me
Watching sunshine turn to fog
Just another sunday in san francisco
Forgetting prayers to neglecting Gods
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So I Sez
“I prepared to hurl myself into the diseased water to rescue my beloved canine.”
– My Dog is So Smart
18 June 2006
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