Who knew that my writing muse would choose to reside in my car.
I have wifi in the driveway and had a piece to do tonight.
I think it turned out pretty damn well.
A snippet:
The weeks preceding valentine’s day always result in the following:
1. An influx of pink at every retail opportunity possible. Pink is everywhere. Pink flowers, pink purses, pink shoes, and pink cards. Even my tamale lady who roams the late-night watering holes with her tasty hand-made and spicy delights starts sporting pink ribbons in her hair. Trust me on this one, no one likes to try and digest a tamale at 3 AM when it’s handed off to you by a short, very round and abundantly pink Mrs. Gonzales. It’s hard enough fighting off the pink elephants.
2. The coupled set unreasonable expectations on each other. Girls start counting hours as if some portent anniversary and relationship milestone will be achieved by this otherwise completely arbitrary date. A three month relationship in the summer does not legitimize an expectation for roses and jewelry. A winter 3-month stint does not typically lead to anxiety attacks on whether a couple should start genetic counseling to see if their future children (prenamed ovum referred to in a gal’s internal monologue by Carson and Virginia) will be better stationed towards a career in professional classical music or entrepreneurship. Men start to develop allergies to bath products after numerous forays to Bath & Bodyworks or Lush to select a gift that denotes appropriate familiarity and femininity while cloaking an otherwise pre-meditated disposition of hope in touching a gal’s soft, scented, and well massaged ass.
3. The single get desperate. One starts reconsidering online dating services; blind dates; and speed-dating adventures. Trust me on this one, this will only end in tears. Personally, I really hate consoling bawling men on the curb when it’s rainy while listening to Aerosmith. Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. Went on the booksigning tour. This is not rock & roll. And I’m all about rock & roll.
Shazam.