MinJungKim.com Braindump v 6.0 Gah. I’m still doing this?

Today’s Thunk 11.17.04

Realization:

I’ve lived my life … less in fear of personal failure, and more in fear of disapointing those whom I love and respect.

I am lacking in this type of courage and confidence.

This is… a weakness on my part, to give credit and respect back to those who have invested their affection, confidence and time in me.
If I fail, then there are important things to learn and success in pursuing a challenge.

I’m tumbling back in my head to some words that my college creative writing Prof told me once.

“You’re talented. But you’re lazy. You need to work harder. But you are afraid to. Quit it. Damn it. And revise.”

So sage, she was.

And to quote another source from the dusty attic of childhood memory

From Julie of the Wolves

“When you are afraid, you are doing something wrong. Change what you are doing.”

I fear change. But the notion of staying exactly the same terrifies me moreso.

…

I’ve been spending some of my downtime working on recultivating my inner monologue.

Howdy self voice.

I’ve missed thee.

This is my largest and most omniscient enemy as well. I’m so terrified of failing, that I never try to begin with. Of course, generally, I *don’t* surprise myself, so I return to lick my wounds of mediocrity.

I feel the pain.

talented and lazy. thanks, i was wondering what my epitaph would be!