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Conversation with the Kissing Bandit:9.26.04

In Conversations with the Kissing Bandit, General on 26 September 2004 with 6 comments

Kissing Bandit: Well, how you holding up?
Moi: You’re smoking on the other end of the line, aren’t you?
KB: (puff puff puff) Yup.
Moi: Bitch.
KB: Never claimed to be otherwise, though…
Moi: Though what?
KB: Well. Just think. The way that I live and my plans for the future have always been rather shortsighted. Because I pretty much know that I’m going to die in some firy scandle crash with some star or something.
Moi: That’s rather … uh… optimistic
KB: Well, it’s why I live so aggressively in the *NOW*. Because tomorrow may never come. Or it’ll be terrible.
Moi: But aren’t you creating a predestination for failure and tragedy?
KB: Realy, is it any different than what you do when you’re moaning and whining about **** , or *****, or that thing with *****
Moi: Shut up. That was really low.
KB: (Puff) …
Moi: K. was telling me that people typically quit about 4-6 times before quitting actually sticks.
KB: Does that make you want to cave right now?
Moi: Yes and no.
KB: You’re a pussy about the weirdest and most inane things.
Moi: And you’re just a nutcase. Even B. totally thinks you’re a crackhead.
KB: Oh so what if my lover thinks I’m nuts. It just shows that he’s got brains.
Moi: Nice.

6 Comments

you can do it, no question! don’t think of it as “quitting” — think of it as “becoming a non-smoker,” which is exactly what’s happening. and really, it does become easier very quickly. plus there are zillions of us who smoked 2+ packs/day for 10+ years and became permanent non-smokers the first time we tried, so don’t listen to all the b.s. about how hard it is, or how many tries it takes. the only hard part is ignoring the brainwashing that has made you believe it’s hard, and that rumor was started by the tobacco lobby. truly! keep going…you have nothing to lose but your phlegm!

Posted by lizzie on 26 September 2004 @ 11pm

My dad quit cold turkey when I was about 16 years old. It was one of many things he did when he “found God” and claims his ability to quit was a miracle of “God”***. Well, whatever his motivation for quitting, he didn’t touch a single cigarette since he announced he was going to quit. I’m now 27 years old.

*** This comment is in no way a religious advertisement, as I am not a religious person. You just need to find something to motivate you, religion just happened to be his way to smoke-free.

Posted by chris on 27 September 2004 @ 8am

Keep up the strong resistance!!! It IS possible to quit cold turkey.

My Mom quit at age 48 after smoking for 30 years. It can be done. You can do it.

Her final moment was having a coughing fit in a church during a wedding. She was so sick, she could hardley breathe and made a scene. Don’t get to that point.

Posted by ms.mo on 27 September 2004 @ 8am

*Sighs*
I like his attitude. Mine is I figure lung cancer and heart disease will be cured in 30 years.

Posted by Eli on 27 September 2004 @ 12pm

ye’re gonna love not smoking. i’ve had a couple here (nz), and while tasty for the first couple drags, the overall effect is bleccch.

Posted by eric on 27 September 2004 @ 7pm

earthquake today!

everything ok?

Posted by annie on 28 September 2004 @ 3pm

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