Conversations in the Shower - Redux
Moi: Yo.
Belly: Yo.
Moi: It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
Belly: Since we talked?
Moi: Yeah… I was just thinking…
Belly:Uh oh. Is this another one of your crazy ideas?
Moi: Well…
Belly: Like what?
Moi: We should spend more time together…
Belly: Are you planning on treating me better this time around?
Moi: Did I ever really treat you badly?
Belly: …
Moi: ????
Belly: You made me feel terrible about myself. Guilty. Ashamed.
Moi: Oh sweetie…
Belly: You forgot how much I’ve done for you.. .and how I’ve pressed on…
Moi: Oh… my…
Belly: You took me for FUCKING GRANTED! And I never really *GAVE OUT* and pooched like you said I would. I held it all in… without using support panties even…
Moi: Oh my dear darling…
Belly: And what do I get? NOTHING. NO icecream. No cake. Some cheese every once in a while which your mouth like, but which makes me all bloated and shit.. .and yet you blame *ME* for that.
Moi: *sigh*
Belly: *Hmph*
Moi: How I’ve wronged you.
Belly: Indeed. And now you come *crawling* back to me. What? What now? One of those *shmancy* new diets which gets me all backed up cuz you won’t have a bowl of rice?
Moi: No, no no. Never, I swear it.
Belly: Or how about one of those … crunch frenzies that you get into and forget about in a week until you can’t fit into that skirt?
Moi: I promise. Nope.
Belly: Then what? What do you want?
Moi: Well…
Belly: Out with it. We’re past these silly games, aren’t we?
Moi: Yes.
Belly: Then what?
Moi: I guess I just wanted to say thank you. And I’m sorry sweet belly. And I’ll take bubble baths more often and use lots of minty soap which I know you’re fond of.
Belly: What? Really?
Moi: And I’ll love you exactly the way you are. And if you want to do crunches, I’ll try & be more disciplined and consistant with them. Not fickle.
Belly: Really? What?
Moi: And if you want icecream or steak, bacon or mochi, I’ll listen. I’ll comply. And I’ll try to think of you more often throughout the day instead of only remembering to eat at 10Pm at night.
Belly: You’re fricking kidding me.
Moi: Serious. And I’ll even put bowls and plates on you more often right out of the dishwasher.
Belly: Don’t tease me like that. you know how much I love that shit.
Moi: And. I promise never to get you drunk when you’re empty again.
Belly: That’s it. Now I *KNOW* you’re fucking with me.
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