Archive: The Hawaii Incident
I was at a wedding in hawaii a few years back and got a little too smashed at the reception. Around that time, I’d just completed my purple belt in Tae Kwon Do. Anyways, drunk, flirtatious, and feeling a little feisty,
I proceded to flip three or four of the groomsmen flat on their asses. One fellow got so annoyed with me trying to flip him (I dropped him so hard that he broke his watch — shattered into thousands of pieces) that he returned the favor and trounced my ass down to the ground WWF style. (He had taken aikido for a number of years)
This is at a wedding reception mind you. He was in his tux and I was in a little blue dress. The thump was apprently so loud that folks from accross the room stopped eating their dessert to see what had happened and I was apprently floored. Literally.
The bride’s father still remembers me “Oh… you da girl that throw the boys around heh heh heh”. At that point, both of us pretty fazed, we had to be held appart otherwise furniture would have gotten broken. But wait, that’s not the end of the story. On the way back to my friend’s where I was crashing, I wound up throwing up out the car door. Unfortunately we’re in a convertable with the top down and the guy passed out in the seat behind me wakes up wondering why the rain is so warm. ICK right?
The next morning, I got my hung over ass onto a plane to come back to SF. In the shower, I noticed multiple odd mystery bruises all over my body and wondered where the hell I’d gotten them. ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION WHATSOEVER.
I figured I must have stumbled and fallen but no big woop. Anyways, I got home and didn’t talk to any of the guests from the wedding for a week or so. The a few days later, my brother called from Hong Kong.
“Hey, You gotta quit Tae Kwon Do.”
I respond “Huh? What for?”
“Dude, you’re turning into a Korean guy - You drink to much, pick fights, get violent, you gotta quit.”.
“WHAT?!”
My brother in Hong Kong had been to a wedding in NY that included guests from the Hawaii wedding who told him the entire story and were giggling shamelessly about it. My story had spread at record speed from Hawaii to Hong Kong to San Francisco, LA, New York, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Seoul, Boston, New Jersey, and Detroit — ALL BEFORE I EVEN HEARD WHAT HAD HAPPENED! I still hang my head in shamed embarrassment. Sigh. No one ever lets me live that down.
Conclusion? Tequila is *so* not my friend.
No Comments Yet