Archive for June, 2004

En Lengua Fobula – 06.30.04

Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

You know. I am tin’king dis.

Sometime, you are riddle bit craygee and dat is ok.
Eberybody sometime rike dat.

What really is crayjee is ippuh you neber realizuh that eberybody is sometime crayjee. And ipuh you never let yourselpuh be riddle bit crayjee then some time later you going to be big crayjee. You don’t wanting dat.

Big crayjee go to jail. Or habing to replace somebody car.
Or you know, spending rent money on therapy something like that.

Riddle bit crayjee ok.
Sometime maybe eben charming.

But big crayjee… dat just danger. Don’t DO!
Letuh riddle crayjee outuh riddle at time so don’t builduh up likeuh bolcano besubiusuh something like that.

Danger! Don’t DO!

Flashback – Email String titled “My Competition”

Monday, June 28th, 2004

Flashback: Him#1: Back then, we hung out and laughed a lot. Current status -engaged to someone else.

Him: ok. so after tonight do you like him more?
Moi:That’s not a question that I’d have expected from you. What gives?
Him:you know, a couple of months ago i probably wouldn’t have asked that question. you are an addicting habit though…
ps- why does it matter to you? i’m neither korean, nor 5.10, nor catholic…
Moi: It just caught me off guard is all. That’s it. =D
Addicting habit? Hmm you make me sound like crack.
Him: maybe this will catch you off guard even more; i’m getting addicted because i’m starting to think how fun it would be to date you. please kick my ass if i should not be thinking this way…
Moi: You’re manipulating my feelings by pushing my buttons again, I *should* kick your ass. *sheesh*
and yes, you’re totally catching me off guard.
Him:so are you kicking my ass or not? you can take a rain-check on kicking
my ass, you know. my ass ain’t going nowhere. what are you doing this weekend? how does sat night look for you? istill need to satisfy my minjung craving…

(more…)

Photo Matt

Monday, June 28th, 2004

PhotoMatt - PhotoHooping! ' If it falls down, it's because I have no ass!'

Classes I’d consider since I’m so not v. sexy.

Monday, June 28th, 2004

July 5 – August 23
Registration now open for new 8-week writing workshop:
Sexual and Erotic Writing with Mary Anne Mohanraj
Mondays, 7 – 9PM
SomArts Cultural Center, 934 Brannan Street (between 8th and 9th streets),
San Francisco

Class size: minimum of 8, maximum of 12.
Cost: $160 non-members, $140 for KSW members.
**Note: This writing workshop is priced slightly higher than our other
8-week writing workshops to partially cover some of the travel costs of the
instructor, who will be flying in from Chicago to teach the workshop. Thanks
for your understanding.

To register, please send a check for the full amount to: Kearny Street
Workshop, 934 Brannan Street, San Francisco, CA 94103. Please include your
name, contact information (phone number and email address if possible), and
which class you are registering for. For questions, please contact program
manager Samantha Chanse at 415.503.0520 or info@kearnystreet.org.

Class Description:
In this course, we will explore various aspects of sexual, sensual and
erotic writing. We will experiment with poetry, fiction and non-fiction,
exploring the powerful and often difficult elements of sex-related
literature. We will examine such aspects as:

- the language of sexuality (clinical vs. crude vs. what?)
- the technical differences between erotic fiction and soft/hard porn
- the power of reclaiming one’s own sexual experience through memoir
- the ethics of sexual writing (especially within an Asian and/or female
experience)

Students will be encouraged to push their own boundaries, to take risks with
their writing, in a safe and nurturing workshop environment.

This will be a writing-intensive class, with an emphasis on group
participation and critique. Each student will finish the workshop with at
least one complete piece in the genre of their choice, suitable for
submission; we will also review markets for erotica and sexual writing.
There will be brief assigned readings, primarily excerpts from such authors
as Anais Nin, Nicholson Baker, Ginu Kamani, Chitra Divakaruni, Maxine Hong
Kingston, etc.

About the Instructor:
Mary Anne Mohanraj is a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Utah,
specializing in post-colonial literature and creative writing. She is the
author of several books, including TORN SHAPES OF DESIRE (a collection),
AQUA EROTICA and WET (two erotica anthologies she edited for Random House),
KATHRYN IN THE CITY and THE CLASSICS PROFESSOR (two erotic
choose-your-own-adventure novels she wrote for Penguin), and A TASTE OF
SERENDIB (a Sri Lankan cookbook). Her most recent publications include “A
Gentle Man” (HARPUR PALATE), “Wild Roses” (THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF BEST NEW
EROTICA, VOL. 3) and “How It Started” (BEST LESBIAN EROTICA 2003). Mohanraj
founded and served as editor-in-chief from 1998-2000 for CLEAN SHEETS, one
of the foremost online erotica magazines. She has recently received a Neff
fellowship in English, a Steffenson-Canon fellowship in the Humanities, and
the Scowcroft Prize for Fiction. She lives in Chicago and is currently
finishing her dissertation, BODIES IN MOTION, an exploration of sexuality,
marriage, and Sri Lankan/American immigrant concerns.
www.mamohanraj.com

Geektastic

Sunday, June 27th, 2004

So instead of your usual mischief making Saturday, yours trully was relatively sedate.

* Woke up, showered, cleaned
* Got a massage
* Got a parking ticket
* Went to a fabulous bridal shower for Heather
* Came home and packed
* Watched a few episodes of Coupling
* Boasted about my new TV purchase (which will likely put me in dept for quite a bit and is jokingly taller than some gents I’ve dated…definitley heavier than some gents I’ve dated…and debateably more entertaining than some gents I’ve dated. This is my new boyfriend, me thinks.)
* Talked with my Dad about why he insists on eating raw garlic to the disdain of my stepmother who otherwise enjoys his “Bobbos” (Kisses)
* Talked with my bro about how it’s so weird that I’m actually remotely knowledgeable about work/technology/etc
* Went back to the city and wound up hanging with talented and cute geeks (with hot lap…tops)and having them effectively a) migrate me to Wordpress effectively importing both my old blogger archives and my more recent MT archives while cleaning up some of my icky non xhtml friendly code, b) walk me through the integrated XFN components, c) giggle over bad puns and d) generally help me become a bit more knowledgeable about the definitions of wiki, rss, xml, atom and CSS.

Wow. And I thought that dating for tech support was dead. Bummer neither gents are available. They’re grand and marvy friends though.

It’s 6 AM. I’ve seen the sun come up.
I’m rather cheerful for not having gotten my party swerve madness etc on.

What was I *thinking*?!

Saturday, June 26th, 2004

So tonight after work, a bunch loads of us went out for dinner and drinks.
Hung out at the bubble lounge and oy,

GOT INTERVIEWED BY HBO – REAL SEX RE: MASTURBATION, ORAL SEX, THE MILE HIGH CLUB, AND FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITIONS.

I totally had the deer in headlights, blushing ridiculousness. So much for talking mad game about my swerve. It’s true. I’m so all talk. And when placed in front of a camera and poised with questions on sex, I blush. Muchly.
Anil talked mad game and Dunstan had the BEST LINES EVER.

I came off as ever unsexy, awkward, and sexually frustrated.
And oh yeah, “the martha stewart of blow jobs.”

Brilliant.

*Brilliant*

The rest of us all were just mad orgy head scratching and massaging each other on the velvet couches.

I could tell you more, but there were secrets told and sworn by.
My troth is my word, dear peeps.

Personal Footnote

Friday, June 25th, 2004

SEOUL JOURNAL
A Crash Course in Tradition for Modern Korean Brides
By NORIMITSU ONISHI

Published: June 25, 2004

SEOUL, South Korea – “After you get married and you’re buying shirts for your husbands, don’t throw away the straight pins,” the teacher said, explaining that they could be used to fasten traditional Korean dresses for storage.
(more…)

Today’s Thunk 06.25.04

Friday, June 25th, 2004

The Notebooks of Leonardo Da Vinci
Page 25
OF THE EYE.

Focus of sight.

If the eye is required to look at an object placed too near to it,
it cannot judge of it well–as happens to a man who tries to see the
tip of his nose. Hence, as a general rule, Nature teaches us that an
object can never be seen perfectly unless the space between it and
the eye is equal, at least, to the length of the face.

Differences of perception by one eye and by both eyes (26-29).

Note to self: When you can’t see clearly, consider that you might be too close to the subject. Of consideration for one’s heart’s meditations.

Stuff – Mostly Unrelated: Most recently I’ve recieved calls from folks I’ve been a bit shy to talk to. A disadvantage from having my cel phone replaced is that I didn’t have their names programmed in to caller ID. I pick up and say “Hi. Oh. Who is this? Oh. I’m sorry.” and it goes something awkward like that.

I like these people, I care very much for them. I’m just not particularly able to talk to them effectively because it’s a call from out of the blue. Blind.

I’m without that split second of recognition that helps me sort through my brain’s thoughts to effectively launch into that conversation, why they must be calling, what answers I have for them, and what questions.

Between that moment of “Hi, and who’s this” I’m set into a mild panic mode. I always forget something. Or feel awkward.

I already feel madly awkward about who I am, and what I have to say. In this most recent week I get a mild case of the sweats with the notion that I’m the dumbest/most awkward and inappropriate person in the room. It’s silly, I know…but it’s the decades of insecurity that occasionally still kick me in the arse.

I’ve done well with that whole notion of “Fake it until you Make it”.
No, that’s not a sexual euphemism.
Gladly.

But it’s … I don’t know.

Talking with a friend of mine the other night, she has this amazing perception of Blogging and successful blogging as being akinto some performance/multidimensional artistic presentations. In terms of developing and projecting a sort of cult of personality. Take Warhol. And P Diddy. How much of them is real art and how much is the art of charisma & PR?

I’m my own publicist. I want to fire my publicist.
Oddly enough, I know who I am and I’m finally getting to the point of really liking that person. And I am afraid that my publicist has projected an ambitious/slightly more amped persona than what is the real me. Or have I transmogrified into something sort of in between.

More thunking on this. I’m sure.

Nostalgia

Thursday, June 24th, 2004

Prompted by discussions the other night at Tantek’s, I’m extraordinarily nostalgic for good ol’ Usenet.

Before it got shitty.

And by shitty, I’m not referring to the flame wars, haxxors, and crap like that. I mean before the spam beyond belief that flooded servers, became massively distributed, and forced everyone else to flee the communities there.

Mind you, I haven’t read/posted/lurked on newsgroups for about 3 years now.
If you looked hard enough on Google, you’d find some posts, bad poetry, and thoughts on Miso Soup in the archives that *cough* dejanews used to put out there. (Oh man.. going back to 1995)

Wondering:
a) Are people still active in usenet? Favorite groups? Worth going back?
b) Best newsreaders for Usenet if I wanted to try heading back there?
c) I used to work for and subscribe to Supernews. My current ISP offers free accounts with Giganews. Are these still the best sources for supplementary Usenet subscriptions should I be so inclined?
d) Do the newsreaders out there…or perhaps on some backend nntp server administration side…do they have any sort of spam filtering in place?

I’m wondering if there’s anything out there for Usenet that is similar to group/collaberative spam filtering that Cloudnet’s Spamnet which uses membership based feedback to more accurately identify and filter out spam.

Is it Worth it to bother trying to “TAKE BACK USENET” in that whole 80s sort of “Take Back the Streets” campaign?

Thoughts?

Today’s Thunk 06.23.04

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004

Glass is transparent because it is essentially an extraordinarily slow moving liquid.

Funny how you can make liquid shatter and cut yourself on the palm with it, isn’t it?

That’s like saying your coffee is prone to outbursts of violence and could likely strangle you when you’re not looking.

Also, as discussed with Molly yesterday, I’m not a fan of bugs. I’ll tolerate spiders because they eat other bugs but for the most part, I’d like to avoid them. Zach was helping me usher a moth out of the house. I think I exclaimed that I hated moths because they tend to eat through the italian wool jacket that you earned by giving a blow job to.. oh wait.

Also, the worst type of moth is the unemployed-barrista-moth.

Don’t ask. 3 snifts of scotch into it, I’m not even sure why that was so funny, but it was.

Kewl.

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004

My buddy Davezilla’s redesigned.

And yes, I’m in one of dem dere photo’s up on yon upper right side.

Hit refresh if you don’t see me right away.

Other kewl things? Hanging with Tantek, Matt, Dunston, Simon, Kristin, Jish, Jane, and Kevin for dinner in the Haight this evening. Dinah joined us for video game mischief later.

Always mischievous good fun. I’m sure they’ll have photos up soon enough or something. Silly me, forgot my v. red lipstick and my flask. I’ll know better next time. Good thing the sangria was flowing at Cha Cha Cha’s.

Silly thunks.
I’m not a big pet person. I’ve owned a fat cat before. Now I’m allergic. I live with a dog named Vinnie and bought him peanut butter once (organic, no preservitives or anthing – just peanuts) and he treats me rather ambivalently.

I have the odd sense that I must boycott watching Garfield. Not because I uh… have taste (heaven knows I got suckered in to watching Soul Plane afterall). Not because I don’t have an 8 year old to watch it with. Because it’s not fair. Straight out speciesism. If there’s an animated cat then there should be an animated dog. Odie is NOT animated. I find this wrong. Granted Odie is dumb as a brick and slobbers sufficiently to water to Mojave…but still. That’s just not right, yo.

Life stuff
I’m moving at the end of the month back to SF. Not too far from where I used to live 4 years ago. Since moving to the bay area I’ve lived in Fremont, Sunnyvale, Mountain View, SF, and Oakland. I”m swinging back counter clockwise. Busy packing.

And in fabulous news: I’m sleeping better again.
And in not so fabulous news: My RSI has been acting up again.
In good news: I still have loads of ibuprofin 800, vicadin and vicaprofin.
Weeee.

Key’s to Success

Sunday, June 20th, 2004

Today I was told that I smelt “Mighty Fine”

To the effect of having peeps come up, touch my hair and hold it under nose.
And to encourage friends to walk by me slowly.

The key to success where it comes to smelling “mighty fine” are these:

1.Take a shower. Especially if you’ve been stinky all day from doing laundry, running errands and packing. Lots of packing.
2. Brush your teeth. If you’re me and have been playing leftover roulette, this is particularly a good idea.
3. Dress in new clothes. Those most recently purchased online that happen to fit well are particularly flattering. That assymetrical zipper sweater top? Very nice. But ya know.. you don’t have to tell folks that it looks good on you because you have odd shaped tits. They will either a) not really believe you (but look at your chest just to *be sure*. or b) spend the rest of the evening trying *not* to look at your tits in efforts to ascertain if you were joking or not when you made that blythe comment …rejoicing because someone is finally looking at your piquant though paltry (and earnestly symetrical and just fine) bosoms is really not appropriate either.
4. Put on that perfume you’ve been saving for special occaisons. Every day, if you make it is a special occasion. I go with Chanel. Chrystalle.
5. Wear your hair down. Spritz with Aveda Brilliant for both shine and damage control. Plus it smells lovely.
6. Mix with the scent of hypster partydom. This includes a cocktail of your own personal “swerve” musk, single malt scotch sipped from an elegant flask and vanilla clove cigarettes.
7. Add laughter and red lipstick.

And then act like it was effortless.
Cuz you’re *always* this fabu.
Right.

GMail Invitations for Bloodlines Submissions Donations.

Friday, June 18th, 2004

Pretty straightforward.

Donate some bones to support Bloodlines.
Get an Gmail invite in return.

Don’t read this msg and still comment spam a request with a) no Father’s day story or b) a donation to support my cause, then don’t be surprised when I don’t respond.

Doy.

Convo with the Kissing Bandit 06.18.04

Friday, June 18th, 2004

Kissing Bandit: Are you sleeping better yet?
Moi: As well as I can, considering.
KB: You have too much to do.
Moi: I know.
KB: You know what would help? hehehehe
Moi: Oh shut up. Sex does *not* fix everything.
KB: Oh yes it does.
Moi: Well, it is a good at delivering a sopophoric effect, but the side effects or collateral damage…
KB: Yada, yada, you think too much.
Moi: And you, you’re so ruthlessly careless.
KB: But I sleep marvelously.
Moi: Well ye *do* need the beauty sleep.
KB: Bitch.
Moi: How do you do it?
KB: Do what?
Moi: How do you manage to live your life as if there is an infinite amount of opportunity to fall in love? You just…
KB: Because I’m right. Aren’t I?
Moi: But …
KB: Yes?
Moi: *sigh*
KB: Like I’ve said before, you think too much.
Moi: Or perhaps, not really enough at all.
KB: Listen, sweetcheeks, now this is the only time I’m going to be remotely patronizing here…
Moi: But…
KB: No shut up now and listen.
Moi: OK.
KB: You. You have a problem. When you’re in love, you never aknowledge how awesome it is and you worry it to death. And then before or afterwards, you always act like you’ve never known love really before. And when mourning love you bemoan that you’ll never have the opportunity to love again. And it’s bullshit. You’ve been loved. You’ve loved hard. And you did it right. Sometimes you didn’t do it right. But you .. you gotta stop acting and feeling and thinking yourself into a hole like that’s the only time or the last time you’ll ever be in love again. There really *is* an endless opportunity to fall in love. If you let yourself. And you so rarely let yourself.
Moi: …
KB: Are you listening to me?
Moi: Yes.
KB: Ok. Now go put on some sexy panties.
Moi: The black ones?
KB: No, the red ones, darling. It’s friday.

Redraft – Poetica Spontenaium 06/15/04

Thursday, June 17th, 2004

AKA Urban Emo
*********
Twisting like a curtain of sky
Caught between steel and concrete
on this ordinary corner.

Old Riley crosses the street,
In grumbling silence
As the wind whips dust like a flurry of epithets

There’s a patch of grass beneath my shoes
Needing water, So in empathy, I spit on it.
It was just something to do.

And an itch left hungry
On the small of my back
Where an arrow head left it’s mark
On the exact opposite side of my heart