May 2004 Archive

I promise you, it’s not because I have a sniffy nose. Nor that I’m generally melancholy. Or that I’m too lazy to do my own laundry. Honest.

I’m panged these days with an overwhelming sense of homesickness.

I’m working on a new project.
An uber cool Elvis Sunglasses wearing type of project.
I have cohorts that I’m excited to work with.
And a talented crew, a slew of wicked projects, and some bitchin’ and aggressive plans in place. I am excited.

While talking with a friend last weekend (interspersed with conversation tidbits that covered neurosis, masturbation, beer, and parents…sorta in that order –no, seriously) he commented “The smack talking about how great it’s going to be is the best part, isn’t it?”

Me? Smack talk? Nawwww….

I’m just giddy and totally excited.

This could be real. This could be great. This will definitely be fun. This will definitely be exhausting.

My toes curl at the possibilities.

I am constantly… well… intimidated by the skills and exciting projects that my friends work on. They’re so smart, passionate, wildly creative, prolific, and amazing. They put themselves out there. They produce great stuff. They have fan clubs. They’re doing the stuff that’s exciting.

Me: I’ve always been on the sidelines as their cheerleader and fan. At most a facilitator who’s able to pull folks together in ways that makes sense. I’m good at that.

“Oh you’re too hard on yourslef… what about your poetry and blogging…” blah blah blah blah. Ancillary. Barely a footnote in history I suppose…though to be honest, I’ve been blogging in one form or other since 1999. And keeping a journal of some sort since I was 5.

But now… I get to really work.

More news on the super secret Elvis-Glasses uber cool project as we make progress.

I’m doing some serious spring cleaning and being very firm with myself about what I want to keep and what I want to donate or toss.

The pile of socks is about knee high (pun intended) that need to be matched, inspected for holes, or tossed.

Why am I doing this?

Well, it falls into that go forth in the new year “naked” philosophy that I’ve had for a while. Particularly about only keeping with me those things that I need to and leaving those things that I don’t need or want behind. Usually that reference or philosophy is applicable metaphorically. Today it’s been more literal. Why? Because I’m looking to move. And I have loads of shit that I’d rather not take up 3 flights of stairs, across the bridge, and up 3 flights of stairs again. Granted, with that extra effort my ass would look pretty good.

Still, housecleaning.

It’s good to have something keep my hands busy as my brain continues to sort out the spring cleaning that it desperately needs as well.

My head still hurts a lot these days. I’m blaming it on allergies, PMS, and well… an oversensitive emotional timeclock that records and subconsciously responds to memories and anniversaries before such reasons of … agitation become apparent to the overconscious.

Last year this time was rough. Dad’s illness, etc etc. Some big… very big challenges. It’s good, I suppose, to see what’s changed and what progress has been made since then.

My dad’s my sunshine. He’s healthy and laughs frequently when i call him. He positively giggles. And effortlessly, cheerfully, he always sings out to me in the phone sarangheh (i love you). We’re sometimes like little birds calling this out to each other on the phone. I know, kinda squishy gross. I think it’s the one time that I don’t act sarcastic or snarky about such levels of rapt squishiness.

Sarangheh
Saranghehyo

Sarangheh
Saranghehyo

Sarangheh!!!
Saranghehyo!!!