Conversation with the Kissing Bandit: 04.29.04
Kissing Bandit: Well, aren’t you going to say anything?
Moi: About what?
KB: Ya know. I saw them. They were all cooey and creepy and lovey dovey and stuff.
Moi: So?
KB: I mean. Here I was, just minding my business, having a latte and I see the dude who like… fuck. I mean. FUCK!
Moi: And?
KB: Then I saw that he was like all over that…I mean…
Moi: So it was pretty gross and goopy and stuff.
KB: Yeah. And like on your birthday and everything.
Moi: And my point again is, so?
KB: I mean… ok…
Moi: What.
KB: So you’re really not weirded out anymore?
Moi: A little.
KB: And that’s all you’re going to say?
Moi. Pretty much.
KB: What the fuck is going on.
Moi: *Shrug*
KB: Wow. So it’s really over.
Moi: Yup. Has been for a while. About time, right?
KB: And you’re really well adjusted and shit?
Moi: As best as I can be, considering.
KB: And even though that…
Moi: Yeah, don’t bring it up.
KB: Are you going to…
Moi: Probably not. I mean, why dig up old corpses again, right?
KB: True, but aren’t you at least a bit curious?
Moi: Nope. Not really.
KB: So, like, wow.
Moi: Yup. I know. I’m pretty proud of myself too.
KB: Does this mean you’re fucking someone new?
Moi: Maybe.
KB: Wait, is it a girl or a guy?
Moi: Bitch.
KB: That’s not an answer. Or…is it?
Moi: That’s cute.
KB: I mean, so tell me something great then.
Moi: It is with the best intentions that I declare a moratorium on drama when it comes to me and the meditations of my heart. Also, that should anyone try to dredge up drama that I don’t want into my life, that I shall not consider myself selfish or ungracious for promptly and uncompromisingly excising them from any opportunity to do so.
KB: What, and leave *me* to cause all the trouble by my lonesome?
Moi: You and your pussy posse.
KB: Will you at least tell me *something* about this new person in your life?
Moi: He’s pretty fucking great.
KB: It only matters if he’s great at fucking.
Moi: So say you.
KB: Only cuz it’s so true.
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