MinJungKim.com Braindump v 6.0 Gah. I’m still doing this?

Honesty vs. Editing

I read lots of blogs.
And by lots, I mean way more than I should.

And I’ve been reading them for years, some sites up to 6 years now, when they were carefully or haphazardly coded by hand or with something clumsy like geocities and homestead. From this I have gotten a better sense of the folks that I’ve read, who they are, their history, and their occasional mood swings.

Reading things like this is.. not unlike building a friendship over years. The day to day is seamless and transparent. Slowly and cheerfully glowy. Reading through new blogs and digesting thier archives over 3 days + or so is somehow…not nearly as satisfying.

Recently I stopped by the site of someone I used to know and haven’t spoken to in nearly a year or so. The design of her blog is the same. Same Url. Same taglines.

Her blog is quite different now. Sanitized. All those entries that were brilliant and fucked up, earnest and wacky, deplorable and dejected, they are all gone. It’s sanitized to the briefest of technical/professional posts. It’s become a compartmentalization of her life.

I don’t fault her, certainly, we all have our reasons for putting what we do online, personal and professional. I concede that I’m far more censored with what I divulge online than I used to 4 years past when I first started. But it’s still a little weird. I akin my psychological reaction to this type of editing with getting a tattoo removed.

Now it’s a little different when folks pull down and relaunch a blog. That sort of reinvention doesn’t phase me nearly as much. It’s this…autobiographical and self archeological type of editing that I’m … oddly uneasy by.

I still can’t put my finger on it.


7 Comments

Could it be because in time, you could believe what you’ve written to be true in it’s censored form and not what exactly you would’ve liked to said all along?

Posted by christine on 13 April 2004 @ 9pm

Your title says it all. You know what your goin through. You used to be honest, open, excited when u wrote your blogs in the beginning, like a personal diary. After time u wonder should i really be this personal with random people, who am i reaching out to,why am i doin this,(enter your good reason). So u cut back and edited the content and now u wonder what’s the point. u met friends on the web that made u smile during or after work. u may have met friends beyond that HTML code. who knows. ure still doing it for something. maybe in the back of ure head u know that u put a smile on someone’s face and that makes u content. whatever the reason, keep ure head up. blogs are blogs, be as honest as u like and don’t feel guilty for anything you say or don’t say. enjoy ureself and enjoy ure blog.

Posted by Jim on 13 April 2004 @ 9pm

Intersting because last night I was scanning through some old entries of mine and read one from two years ago and I couldn’t believe how personal and informative it was. I was surprised at how much I had shared, but what shocked me even more was how much I’ve changed. The drama I wrote about and was so upset about is something that I couldn’t imagine even happening today.

Posted by tammy on 14 April 2004 @ 8am

You’re still fab because you can use “akin” as a verb without it seeming affected in the least.

Posted by Huntington on 14 April 2004 @ 1pm

I guess some people are just so fearful of what those in their close circles will actually think when they discover the truth of what that person REALLY thinks. Nobody wants to hear the truth.

Posted by hateless on 14 April 2004 @ 5pm

i haven’t been here for a while, but your blog is one of my favorites. mainly because it is personal, because it gives me some insight into your thoughts and life. there’s something sweet and beautiful about learning to appreciate a human being, much less a faceless one. i have to admit i’m guilty of the censoring, too. i save my entries on my hard drive for myself and post only the lighter fare, and purge my journal every so often. at some point the body of entries just feels like too much candidness.

Posted by celia on 15 April 2004 @ 8am

It’s different when you first start up a weblog, because it’s mainly just your friends and (maybe) family who know about it. When you get new readers, it’s still cool because you get to know them and it’s more like making new friends than sharing secrets with strangers.

But if you stick around long enough, you build up a readership, and eventually you reach a point where you look out at your readers and you don’t see individual faces anymore, but an audience. You don’t know them, they don’t know you, and you’ll never be able to know them well enough to forge any kind of two-way connection. Or, you find out that people you don’t want reading the weblog, like family or co-workers, have stumbled upon it. And then it hits you that your weblog is no longer a safe haven for free expression but just another performance stage like the rest of your life.

Posted by on 16 April 2004 @ 5am

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