Today’s Thunk 2.1.04
Rabbit Rabbit.
Now go off and make like one if you’re lucky.
…
Also:
If you were a great/beloved/wonderful/happy person before you met someone that you cared about, even if things don’t work out, you’re still that great/beloved/wonderful/happy person without them.
Ideal situations call for the person that you care about, to make you feel and become even more great/beloved/wonderful/happy.
It’s pretty marvy when you come across beautiful people in friendships, casual conversations, and intimate moments that make you feel that. I’ve been blessed. And bejebus, if I consider that it’s only Feb 1, and I’ve gone on something like 28 dates in 2004 so far (if I count all the speed dating adventure meetings as dates) then I’d say I’m doing pretty stellar.
FYI: the fact that on my speed dating adventure, that all my drinks were poured gratis by the very very hunky bartender…well…what can I say.. the red lipstick really is working for me. I didn’t mark a single *yes* on my score card. Nor did I mark any *no*’s. I just forget that …oooh yeah, were I really there for something beyond manic curiosity and ego snacking, that I should have actually checked people off. My bad.
I’ve got a mixed bag of emotions and thoughts re: the whole Pink Month of february where everyone’s love and sex obsessed.
Moi, I confess that I’ve put a pillow for my door that says “Please Knock” on my boots for punny jests.
In years past, I’ve been playfully bitter, anxious, or ridiculously swoony (ok that was *once* and man, did I learn how fuckingly misguided that was). This year, I’m feeling a whole other kinda love.
I’m feeling mad love for my friends who grace me with their honest humanity, strengths, weaknesses, kindnesses, wisdom, and the thrill of simple touches in hugs and kisses, fantastically challenging conversations, spirits of whimsy and adventure, and laser scalpal when it comes to delivering truth. I *heart* you.
I’m (as ever) feeling love and honor for my family. The older I get, the more I I get it. All the words unspoken but in vibe, energy, sweat, and tiniest consideracies and sacrifices that have been done for my behalf. It’s always a good humbling realization.
I’m feeling comfortable with my place in social circumstances amidst strangers and in a larger society. Rarely with the road rage now, I’d rather get anywhere from point A -> point B in one piece. Motherfucker, go ahead and cut me off. That’s fine. Let’s just not bother trying to kill each other over jockying for position that saves you oh… maybe 45 seconds. My life over a minute? Yours over 15 yards? Whatever foo. I can be late to my meeting so long as I’m alive when I get there.
And I’m…(insert soft spoken whisper)… yes… ashmoo.
There’s someone I’ve met recently that I’m crushing on pretty hard.
It’s a lovely feeling. And in spite of my normal insecurities and self beratements when it comes to such romantic predilications, I just gotta say that the circumstances as they are… make me… really wanna be open for the experience and the ride. For whatever it is, and whatever it’ll be, I’m down for the adventure of it and I am as ready as I’ll ever be when it comes to such things. Go figure. I’m enjoying the excitement of it and the silly giddiness of it all. It’s been a long time.
And maybe I’ve finally stopped beating myself up about the notion of deserving someone that can be so positively good to me.
So that’s that.
It’s February. Feel the love, yo.
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