MinJungKim.com Braindump v 6.0 Gah. I’m still doing this?

A very private soapbox.

If you choose to judge me as crazy, it’s because this man , Chris Wetherell - Liar, Manipulator, Coward, Selfish Bastard, and Cheater, has made me so.

You wanna know the truth?
If you choose to handle it. I can barely contain the explosion of epithets and scars, apologies and sorrow in my head and heart. We first met in Sept/October of last year. We started dating in October. In November or so I learned that he was *still* dating someone. By February, as learned today, he still hadn’t officially broken things off with her. It came around then, the official breakup with the other girl. She had been lied to about me. I had been lied to about her. We’ve somehow scrapped together some corpse of truth and the body of evidence is nothing short of horrifying.

I have recently discovered that I have been extraordinarly lied to and lied about. As well in turn, many parties that satelitted our social spheres were in kind lied about and to in efforts to cover tracks, evidence, and responsibility.

In addition to this, having been cheated on, in turn, and discovering *that* news while I was in Michigan dealing with my father’s stroke. Classy, right?

We broke up under the circumstances. More lies. More cover-ups. More deception. Small apologies and admissions were made that covered only half truths in efforts to save face or damage control. Am I responsible for the collateral damage because of mistruths and lies that *you* make? Not me. This is your shit. Don’t blame me because I happened to trip on your dead bodies.

At this point, I can’t find anything redeeming and worthy of investing any sort of attempt at positive emotional bandwidth in this person or in any interaction him. I’m furious. Exhausted. And wounded beyond measure. Add salt and kimchi juice into the sores with the fact that I was lied about, manipulated, and referred to as someone who had manufactured the entire relationship. That nothing had been real. That I was *crazy*. A *stalker.* And manipulative.

It was real. And yes, it was extraordinarily important to me, this person was the “Shmoo” of reference in multple entries of my archives. I was asked pointedly by him to be evasive regarding him and our relationship here on this site and in my social dealings. I was an accomplice in my own skull fuck, in this regard.

So against my better judgement, I swung by his house again. After all the drama that rolled itself around me over the last few months, the death of someone who had hurt me even more, all I wanted was 5 minutes to say my peace and be done. To believe that bridgebuilding was still possible. That in spite of emotional harm already done and past that there could be some sort of release and freedom from the anxiety and doubt, confusion and disparity that has tortured me for months. That good memories could wash over those awful ones.

That five minutes, after all that I’ve endured, was too much to have as charity from someone who had mishandled my emotions throughout our knowing each other. Someone who chose to run away and cover up with more lies, then ever concede truth, fault, and acountability except in the most sweeping and ghastly self-serving and weak-charactered manner.

What have I dealt with? Accusations against my personal and professional character. Lies about my sanity which have now become eerily truish in my overwhelming emotionality at dealing with the extraordinarily dramatic mechanations that I’ve been fooled into believing as truth out of generosity, sincerity, fraugtfully misguided and wasted affections. Etc. Etc.

Too ridiculous, ludicrous, and shitty to go into details of but I”ll say this, if I had indeed punched him and made contact between knuckle and nose tonight, as I so desperately wanted (against tantamount catholic guilt and my kinder nature), I’d have been vindicated and it would have been well deserved. So if I’m crazy, and you judge me so, then so be it. I am. Fine. But I wasn’t always like this and I know I’ll be my cheerful normal self again shortly.

A word to the wise. Gawd don’t like stupid. Not fond of pretty either. And liars can leave me the fuck alone. Because if I catch you on your shit, and you hurt me, I’m not afraid to lay out the truth to those who care. And yeah, I know you do. And you do. And you do too. You don’t care, but you come here to read me because maybe I have something entertaining today. The entertainment value on this post is low as it’s more of a pointed expungement of the negativity that’s been clouding my life over the last year. But you care. And you likely care too much. You care a little. You, you show that you care absolutely nothing at all. And now I, don’t care anymore either.


23 Comments

i come to your site, daily, because i fall into that “care a little” category. being a stranger, i’m not sure how much it means to you to hear all the cliche things such as “time will heal all” but i know you are wise and realistic enough to read this post with a grain of salt. i am going through a bit of my own, which is why i am up this late, but my feelings go out to you, and that is sincere. sitting alone, what else do i have to offer you at almost four in the morning?

Posted by peter on 4 November 2003 @ 3am

Ya know, a wise gypsy girl once said to me “*SNAP* You’re hella faced!” I have no idea what this means, but I believe it is applicable to this yutz.

Posted by -J. on 4 November 2003 @ 8am

I hope you’ll feel better soon.

T

Posted by Terry on 4 November 2003 @ 8am

I can hardly believe it’s been that long since I’ve visited your blog. I wondered what might have been going on in you life (especially in the “companion” category.) Looks like you could use some flowers, but I don’t know where to send them this time. I guess this might mean I am in the lead on celibacy now.

I haven’t much to say; no cliches here. The only thing I can offer, which I had just recently to someone else, is: It never gets better. You just grow to handle it better. I’m not sure if that’s as applicable to this current upset. Because, when it comes to relationships and companionship, I believe it can get better.

Oh, and you are insane - for not hitting him. But, you held to your higher morals; so good for you, I think.

How about lunch?

Posted by Cor on 4 November 2003 @ 8am

I don’t pretend to be qualified to dispense love advice. You’ve seen me operate… I’m just fumbling through this like everyone else, but…

Sing it sister!
don’t waste any more time on jerky boys! You have lots of people around who love you, and more important things to worry about than some dumb guy who can’t appreciate or respect you. Stay true to yourself and someone will recognize you for who you are… and when they do… look out! It will be worth the wait.
I hope that wasn’t too cliché.
*smooches*

Posted by Paris on 4 November 2003 @ 10am

oh girl. you’re amazing. courageous. and not alone.

- another “crazy” girl

Posted by jane on 4 November 2003 @ 10am

I myself am going through the same, but far more worse. I can totally related to what you are experiencing.

Don’t cry. Don’t be sad. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be discouraged. Don’t waste your emotions. Wake up!! It’s not love. He’s not good enough for you. You deserve so much better. Lose the baggage and you will feel a lot lighter.

Posted by D on 4 November 2003 @ 11am

I can tell from his site that he is a tool. Poo green font on blue background… please

Posted by mr milk on 4 November 2003 @ 4pm

It takes a crazier person to know another crazy person. Moreover ‘crazy’ have a wide definition i.e. (from Dictionary.com) One who is or appears insane: “To them she is not a brusque crazy, but ‘appropriately passionate’” (Mary McGrory). I would say that you’re appropriately passionate.

Take it easy and good to know that you got home all safe and sound.

Posted by addie on 4 November 2003 @ 5pm

This is a difficult entry to read.
And, I am certain, a more difficult entry to write on one’s blog.

Courage and Sensibility has brought you here.
Be grateful–and take personal pride–in that.
God Bless.

and hey, you DO care *quiet smile*
but this time around, only for that which is of Worth.

Posted by eri on 4 November 2003 @ 7pm

*hug*

Posted by vj on 4 November 2003 @ 7pm

Dear MJ: This is a terrible thing that has happened.

I’m sorry and I hope you feel better soon.

This story just proves the following:
(1) Some men are EVIL
(2) Some men are GREEDY
(3) Some men CRAVE ATTENTION.
(4) Some men are just mean.

Notice the word “some”

Here’s to hoping you meet a better one soon.

And lastly: “Better to be without a man then with an evil man.”

Take care and look ahead!

Posted by watchout for them on 4 November 2003 @ 8pm

What a disgusting creepy cowardly slimeball beady-eyed flake ass piece of shit this wuss of a male is. Sorry about the expletives. I can’t find my thesaurus and I am typing with my fists.

A lot more people care about you, dear MJ, than you most likely realize. I mean, look at you, you put your heart on the line and online, remind us all that we can be better people deep down somehow, and you are gorgeous, brilliant, and damn funny. How could anyone not care?

Posted by scott on 4 November 2003 @ 9pm

Flush him down the pan where he belongs, girlfriend…

When things get tough, just remember you will never have to deal with him ever again. That should help. Oh, and I advise getting drunk (with friends, not alone) too.

Posted by DelBoy on 4 November 2003 @ 11pm

May he rot in hell!!

Posted by Sarang_Bahng on 4 November 2003 @ 11pm

You’ll be feeling better soon. Maybe not as good as if you’d punched him, but certainly better. I was writing some advice, but realized you don’t need it.

“Massless” seems pretty full of himself, and the “the faster I go the lighter I get” tagline is pseudo-poetic dreck– besides irritatingly being inaccurate from a relativity standpoint.

Posted by Zack on 5 November 2003 @ 12am

This young man deserves a swift kick to his ass with a 6-inch stilleto.

Posted by J on 5 November 2003 @ 4am

what an ass. and now it’s public!

Posted by 6togo on 5 November 2003 @ 8am

Just put that whole mess behind you and chalk it up as a learning experience. As everyone here has said, you are too good for him. You can find that someone special one day, don’t sweat it.

For what it matters, we all love you.

Posted by Michael on 5 November 2003 @ 9am

Bona Fide Creep
Min Jung, quite rightly, claims the moral high ground.

Posted by Just a Gwai Lo on 5 November 2003 @ 10am

Wow. I’m really sorry to hear that. No one deserves that, least of all you. I know it’s a horrid cliche but it sounds like you are in a much better place now. Be well.

Posted by NinjaBoy on 5 November 2003 @ 10am

sounds like you’re blaming this guy for everything and not taking any responsibility. yeah, this guy was an ass, but were you completely faultless? you’ll never get over this until you recognize your own mistakes and weaknesses that contributed to all this.

Posted by nemo on 5 November 2003 @ 11am

I’m not blaming him for more than was his responsibility.

Yes the relationship wasn’t perfect. I certainly wasn’t perfect. I was an accomplice to part of the deceptions and lies, however it stands that this man did lie to me. Alot. And manipulated and lied to other folks as well. This is true and I’ve received a lengthy apology admitting to these facts.

Posted by MJ on 5 November 2003 @ 4pm