Karma
I’m not always a good person. Not a bad person, not malicious or vindictive in behavior and though sometimes I have mean plotting thoughts, I’ve never acted on them. Thinking mean things when you’re hurt or angry, that’s human.Acting on them, for the most part, hollow and unrewarding and well… crazy. It takes loads to get on my bad side. For the most part, I do the avoidance-of-drama dance. It’s just too exhausting otherwise and hey, by nature, I’ve already confessed to being more lazy and stingy with my emotional bandwidth than wasteful or careless with it. I’d like to put my emotional bandwidth towards goodness than bad. It’s so easy and such a copout to be petty and immature. I’d like to believe I’m capable of being above that. Not perfect, but a work in progress and getting there.
And being Catholic, I’m too guilt prone to do anything actually bad or malicious to someone. I just let things get under my skin on it, and then duck away long enough so that the antsyness to smack someone over the head goes away.
When it comes to karma, negative thoughts and actions I consider as really painful and penalty prone withdrawals from my good Karma bank. And knowing how wacked out crazy things happen to me on a regular basis, I’m more prone to deposit coins in the Karma bank than withdraw. You never know when a weird situation will wind up taking you for a haul and that good karma balance wil come into play.
Ya know, weird things like ..being 3.5 hours overseas in a plane from paris to the US when 9/11 happens, being out of cash, and returned to France, not knowing anyone there, having all the hotel rooms being full, utterly stranded without a friend or soul in site, and not being able to speak the language. And then, by grace of God, being taken in to stay for 9 days with nuns. At a convent. With internet access. If that ain’t a karmic payback of good will when you need, it, then gracious I don’t know what is. And yes, that’s a true story.
Like I’m in a crappy mood, I’ll do something nice for another. Lousy day? Hand out an energy bar to a homeless person. Feeling mopey? Call to cheer up another friend. I’m like that and it usually turns things around for me.
Ya know ms yodelay-hee-hoo? She decided to quit last week and was planning on moving to nyc. Today’s she’s in the hospital. Apparently they’re trying to reach her parents as it looks like a life or death situation. From a work productive perspective, even without the yodeling, she’s not particularly missed. But I *never* wished her ill. I just don’t do that. I don’t wish anyone dead or “never-been-born”. Occasionally, I’ll quip that their life force and carbon mass should be better allocated by the deities that be as a tree instead of a human to irritate me, but no, I never wish anyone any worse than that, and even that transformative wish is usually fleeting.
Karma’s a weird thing when it catches up with you.
Be nice to someone today.
No Comments Yet