VBT Stop Today
Hey.
If this reads like ass, forgive me. I feel like ass. There’s been a personal tragedy, got news at 4AM, been crying my eyes out and intermittently swearing in rants and I’m not up to my full snarky game. Or maybe I’m better at the snark cuz I’m at bitchy Mach 10. Ludicrous speed.
Things. Are. Fucked. Up. Beyond. Consolation.Or.Measure.
But that’s not why you came by today. Nah, I’m supposed to be little miss mary fucking sunshine kim. Or something. That’s a whole other deal.
And so yeah, just about the last thing I really want to do is write about my experience reading a book about people who are watching a movie. Is it just me or is that kind of annoying? I mean here *you* are reading *me* write about a *book* of *some other people* watching *a movie*. Do you think that dilutes the experience of watching the movie itself? Maybe.
How do I watch movies?
Either in a dark theatre where I pinch my friends if they talk during the film because I choose to really immerse myself in suspension of disbelief.
OR
A screening party of sorts with a hodgepodge of witty friends, outrageous cuisine, and plenty of beer.
Take for instance, my Porn & Pizza parties of recent fame. We have a projection screen up to show vagina’s the size of small midgets. And then small midgets trying to get into the vaginas. We have healthy commentary on social mysogyny innate in certain cultures and media as related to Japanese Hentai Porn. We talk about PornSpock’s Ear’s growing larger in the Startrek Porn spoof and relay discussions of societal and cultural xenophobia but not when it comes to sex because WHITE MEN PENIS WANT TO RULE WORLD and how that’s still a theme most science fiction flicks as opposed to really fleshing out appropriate themes in dystopian society. And then we laugh at the green cum footage. Ferengi Money Shot.
Another example, we’re at Ernie’s and we’re watching through the Miss Universe contest. God bless the Tivo because doing slo motion rewinds and forwards in efforts of explaining what a “camel toe” is delights my soul. Miss Russia, thou art of very pronounced lips. Very.
And then we serve a black bottom tiramisu, (made from scratch), hand dipped chocolates, almond cookies or espresso pot de creme. If we’re up for cooking a whole meal, Paprivka, Burlgogi, Papaya Pepper Salad, BBQ Unagi, Pot Roasts, 5 Pepper Penne Pasta, Kimchi Jjigheh, Sushi, etc. I like cooking and having another housemate with plans for his own catering company makes us fiends (and not stingy) in the kitchen.
So frankly, how much of The Screening Party can I read through when I feel that my own peeps and I can do it better? When we tend to serve our guests better? When the snarking for me is more entertaining because it’s *live* and through the single media of experience as opposed to being ported through another medium? I dunno.
The Screening Party by Dennis Hensely, while an entertaining read and with some bright points and fun baking/theme ideas, overall just doesn’t really work for me. No disrespect to the author. I just personally couldn’t get into it.
However, per Marcus, I will still plan to make some vagina cup cakes.
Those sound cool.
“BASIC INSTINCT VAGINA CUPCAKES. You start with Devil’s Food cake mix, whatever brand is on sale. (You see, I wasn’t joshing when I said that you didn’t have to cook from scratch). You�ll want Devil’s Food because Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramell is simply satanic. Then make sure you follow orders from the box � like poor, doomed Michael Douglas does. Then, let them cool off � like he didn’t. Coat the cakes with the whitest frosting that’s on sale because Sharon always wraps herself in white. Then stab each of them with an icepick-shaped toothpick (a little more expensive than regular picks but you saved all that money on the sale items so you can splurge � like Sharon�s first victim Johnny Boz did). Finally, use some red decorating gel and carefully draw labia on each cake. Then when Sharon flashes her wares during the flick, lick away. Simple and fun. “
Theme baked goods seem to be what’s missing in my life and heaven knows, the notion of dismembered body parts rice krispy treats seem to be in order for upcoming Halloween Shenanigans.
Other folks who reviewed the book so you have a broad range of reviews to consider.
The last stop in the VBT:
Day Eight: Oct. 13th: Heather Champ, San Francisco
Where the VBT has been before:
Day One: Oct. 6th Heath Row, Boston
Day Two: Oct. 7th Dave Thomas, Baltimore
Day Three: Oct. 8th Geoffrey Long, Washington DC
Day Four: Oct. 9th: Carrie Bickner, New York City
Day Five: Oct. 10th: Brad Graham, St. Louis
Day Six: Oct. 11th: Erik Benson, Seattle
Day Seven: Oct. 12th: Min Jung Kim, Oakland
Day Eight: Oct. 13th: Heather Champ, San Francisco
So yeah. Done.
I’m off to sit and rock in a corner the rest of the day.
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