Fatherly Advice
I read this short list of 17 pieces of Advice my father has given me at the Lit at the Canvas event a few weeks back. Just thought I’d share with y’all.
1. Dating while in highschool. �No dating. No stay out after dark.� (Michigan winters mean that it’s dark by 3PM. I’m not kidding)
2. Dating advice while in college.�You cannot dating until after you marry.� (Yes. He actually said this)
3. Dating advice after college. �Hurry up, find nice Korean boy and marry.� (This too)
4. On church. �Go to Korean church so nice Korean boy find you.�
5. On fashion: �Don�t forget wear skirt to church. You habba nice leg.� (Apparently only one leg)
6. On regret: �Your exboyfriend, Korean harbadhu doctor. You still talking to him right? Try to still friend.� (Dad, I think he’s married now)
7. On mortality: �Daddy old. Going to die. You have to marry soon.�
8. On desperation: �Daddy old. You old too. You going to dry up soon and nobody want you.� (No one ever did, Pops)
9. On fixups: �Dr. Joh has a friend who�s son is still single. In Cincinnati. Have whole life set up. Doctor. House. Everything. Nice man. Try to calling him, ok? Oh yeah, he just a little bit short. Shorter than Daddy.” (My dad is 5�2. I have since received one email from Doctor Shorty.)
10. On telling my dad that I was dating a chinese American boy �No china boy for you.� (Seriously)
11. On telling my dad that I was dating a non east asian American boy �Aigoo, you trying to killing me� (On purpose, no. But if it’s a convenient side effect, who’s to say it’s such a bad idea?)
12. On lost chances “Hey, Doctor Shorty got married. See, how come you don�t do like daddy say?” (Woah is me. We could have had a tribe of halflings together)
13. On having gone out on a date with a Korean guy �It�s ok if you marry quickly.� (If I’m bored with the dude before the entree shows up, I’m not marrying him.)
14. On holidays. �You gain weight. Finally have boob. But too fat now. No one wanna marry you.� (My dad and brother actually discussed my weight gain and cup growth. How disturbing is that?)
15. On heartache. �It�s ok. He not Korean anyway.� (And that’s all that matters)
16. On love. �American kids so high expectation on love. Mommy and Daddy not love each other when marry but we learn to love. It�s ok now.� (Sure.)
17. On advice. �Shut up. You never listen anyway.� (Exactly.)
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