Things I want to say to a co-worker.
Shut up.
You are annoying.
No one cares to know about the painful details that you make the diner down the street go through for your fricking egg and bacon sandwich. And if I were at the diner down the street, I’d spit in yours.
If you actually did your work, you’d have a right to take long lunches, come in late, or leave early. As you *don’t* actually do most of your work, shut up.
That fake indian accent you put on? It’s offensive. Worse than that, it’s really poorly done.
Please stop answering the phone “Yodelay-hee-hoo.” Seriously.
I’m on a fricking conference call, could you please shut up about your broken finger nail?