Convo with the Kissing Bandit
Ready for a string of random thoughts?
Here goes.
Embarrassing intimate secrets.
I’m embarrassed to say that I own a set of books on tape related to dating, intimacy, and relationships. I am, however, not embarrassed to admit that they were given to me by a woman on the brink of a nervous breakdown and impending divorce. I am still embarrassed, however, to say that I haven’t listened to them because I fear they might have a pinch of truth to them. It’s easy to disdain the advice or counsel of those you deem ineffective at managing their own business without projecting their issues on others. Alas, not all that they say may be an untruth.
Colloquial sloppy pronunciation.
“Ahm so glahd yo fillin’ me”
What am I? A hostess twinkie? Much rather be a Zinger, personally.
True scene cut from life.
* Asian Grandmother in marketplace speaks no English.
* Asian Parents speak broken & crippled English
* Asian Daughter and Son speak like urban peeps with sloppy pronunciation and the inability to pronounce the word “ASK”.
English is apparently *never* someone’s first language in this family.
No Pleasure
I missed the opportunity to attend a pleasure party this past weekend. What’s a pleasure party, you ask? My dear moppets, it’s like a Tupperware party where gals get together on an afternoon to peruse, test, and learn about any number, variety, color, and size about particular products. But you’re not talking about Tupperware. You’re talking dildos. Um, yeah. These parties usually have sales reps from retailers like Adam & Eve. It’s like the Mary Kay lady coming to your house for tea, short bread cookies, and bringing lubes and butt plugs.
Indie Rockstars
You know what’s cool? Watching Indie Rockstars try not to grimace when they drink Budweiser. And also getting to nudge them in the ribs when you’re capping on Sam Bill Nye the Science Guy. This would be a highlight in my weekend.
Sundays are good for doing a whole lot of nothing.
Dropping off bills, washing grapes and tucking them in the freezer to nosh on later. Delighting in the purchase of white nectarines. Ironing 3 shirts and 2 pants. Napping. Watching Time Bandits. Watching A Better Tomorrow. Watching Ranma 1/2. Watching Cowboy Bebop2. Watching A Mid Summer Night’s Sex Comedy. Making polenta from scratch for the first time ever. Eating the polenta. Did I mention the napping? Oh, and I *did* clean out the trunk of my car. I suppose that was rather productive. Overall though, it was a nice way to relax and heaven knows I’ve been overdue for such delights.
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