Argh
Damn it all to hell # 43289863
This shit is unpardonable. (link props to UberChick)
Hate crimes are shitty.
Sexual assault is shitty.
Hate crimes combined with sexual assault if beyond shitty.
As one who has experienced both the above (though not in combination) I can only say that sometimes the world is pretty shitty.
Hate Crime #1:
I am 8 years old. I have been excused from class to go to the bathroom. The hall monitor stalks me through the halls while singing David Bowie’s “My Little China Girl”. He threatens to pull off my panties & make me cry. I run to the bathroom to cry and forget to pee altogether.
Hate Crime #2:
Ruthann S. a girl from my 3rd grade class refuses to hold my hand during folk dance classes. She says I’m dirty. I don’t smell nearly as bad as stinky Clara (who’s white and known throughout school as being from the thuggy white trash family). Still, the teacher refuses to admonish her and I decide that I have no rhythm and sit out for the rest of that class. I decide that I hate polka anyway.
Hate Crime #3:
My cousin’s exboyfriend is beaten to death by laid off auto workers. Yes, we’re talking about Vincent Chin. I am told that I may not go out with my friends and am not allowed out of the house after dark.
Hate Crime #4:
During the summer of 1988, it is the extreme automotive recession and ford cars boast bumperstickers with a huge mushroom cloud over a message that says “Nagasaki, Hiroshima? Made in the USA.”. I am accosted in the mall and told “Fuck you, you Jap. My family’s losing jobs because of you.” I respond “Fuck you, I’m Korean and my dad works for General Motors.” Then I run like all hell.
Sexual Assault Crime #1:
Mercifully there is only a one time incident and I’d still rather not talk about it though I don’t deny it’s occurrence and I’d like to believe it hasn’t still scarred me overmuch. Shit happens and I’ve learned to forgive myself and even forgive him. It was not a good way for a girl to lose her virginity. 1992 was a very bad year. Between my mother’s death, failing classes, my father’s appendicitis, my brother’s move across seas, and my episode that this event references, well…it just didn’t seem like the year could have gotten much worse. Except, oh yeah, I had to take organic chemistry.
What’s the matter with the world? I can’t tell you anymore. I’m just very scared and tremendously overwhelmed by the ugliness in it sometimes.
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