BOC
My friend Lou aka the BOC (bone of contention) is a kettle of cheese. But a cute one at that. Don’t *you* think? (go vote for him)
I dig so well that there are some very marvy men friends that I have (and straight ones at that). It just wounds me to the marrow that we either don’t have chemistry or there is some sort of code that keeps me from madly ravishing them with the wee fuzzy pods of my heart. I’m just excessivly prudent that way. But the rules keep me out of trouble & keep me out of drama. Drama uses too much energy & emotional bandwidth.
My rules?
The TOOB Rule.You don’t touch the target of other buddies.
Statute of Limitations Rule. You don’t touch the exes of your buddies.
The Professional Survival Rule.You don’t touch the co-workers. Unless they’re your boss and single and going to definitely marry you and are extremely wealthy so you can retire to your own private island with a slew of gorgeous and well oiled cabana boys if it doesn’t, ya know, work out.
The Roommate Rule. If you like where you live and if you’re not confident it’s *it* you don’t date your roommate and you definitley don’t date anyone your roommate has. Or wants to. Lest you trully desire to have dog shit rubbed into your car floormats. (Which is what happened to me a year and a half ago when the ex-roommate when psycho because she *thought* I was flirting with the boy now titled Bone of Contention… though I wasn’t flirting with him while she and I were living togehter…and only kissed him a few delectable times nearly six months afterwards)
Friends Forever Versus a Dallying Fuck Rule.
Because friendships, the good ones, are precious to find and heavens knows you don’t want to mess up the kindness, emotional reliance, and intimacy that you have with a good guy friends for years, only to be *weird* and distant after you’ve both had two, three, or maybe thirteen too many mojitos.
By now, you know that I am highly by nature the following things: Vain, Snarky, Selfish, and Lazy.
Lazy wins hands down in nearly all cases.No drama, no energy spent. Yay.
I was talking with someone earlier today about how it’s near to impossible to be both a shameless romantic and a person who likes to live in a state of such unconditional honesty so as to be transparent.
If I’m prudent, I guage how far and wide I’ll let my heart fly. If I’m attracted to someone, it’s written all over my face. If I’m hopeful, I’ll turn into the long lost Korean niece of the Larry, Curly, Moe & dear sweet Shemp. None of these characteristics are particularly coy and charming when trying to get the right guy to woo me.
I’ve been guilty of passing up great opportunities with marvelous treats of men friends who have taken the leap to try & bridge that precarious friend–>lover gap.
I’ve teetered and stumbled over that navigation to stay friends and lost touch with a few dear gentlemen.
I’ve actually said to someone “Hey, so… um… you going to kiss me or what?”.
I’ve been guilty of spilling my water ridiculously all over myself at dinner in nervous spasmatics.
Oy.
*hands in face*
No Comments Yet