SXSW
SXSW really stands for Snarky Xrated pSeudo Webprofessionals
So, now my mighty SXSW update is due, huh? Well, hmmm, besides the snark & the bad pirate jokes, I’m not sure where to begin. Let’s see, where did I leave off?
Ah yes.
Sunday afternoon/evening: I did indeed catch a couple of miniscule moments in the sessions. The awards ceremony started off on rocky footing due to our late arrival. We apparently missed the opportunity for free drink tickets and Bertie nearly went ballistic, opening up a can of fierce Brooklyn Woopass on various conference volunteers. It. was.not.pretty. Treatment of awards finalists was not the best, true, but I felt pretty sorry for anyone who had to be on the recipient end of that particular pointy toed boot up their ass. The rest of the awards ceremony was charming for the effusive glee by some of the winners. Bertie didn’t win and we were all sad for her. Booo.
Our crew got to Fray late and couldn’t get in. Boooo.
We then struck out to a lousy party hosted by Blastro. DJ was cool. *REALLY* good 2 step (the Basement Jaxx kind, not the texan kind) but when we started playing around with my blue photon lights. Leonard and Ernie kick much glowstick ass. Alas our self made entertainment was cut short.
Bartender to moi: Hey, you have to turn those off”
Moi: Why?
Bartender: Well, they’re considered drug paraphernalia and we’re not allowed to have them here in the establishment
Moi: That sucks….
Bartender:
Ernie & I were cutting it up on the dance floor to the rad 2 step and as I was jumping up and down with the beat pumping through me, one of the buffet of boys from the Friday evening “Breaking Bread with Brad” tried to pick up on me. Gotta love them cute cowboys.
Then back to Fray. Amazingly enough, we were actually able to sneak in and catch the last 6 performers. 5/6 bloggers will tell you that it was a painless experience. The last one will be me who will tell you that an awkward, whiny, and self congratulatory voice do *not*, a story make. Oy. “But that’s not why *I* left austin”. Man, you should have heard the peanut gallery in the back row. Wooo. I must say though, that it was lovely to sit with John & Miss M & chat with them. At the least, I could sneak a stroke through their various furry and fuzzy apparel. They are trully incredibly sweet individuals and I smooch them with big pink hearts glowing in luminescent pulsating big wuvving.
Hmmm… I forget the exact details, one too many vodka cranberries or shiners, apparently, but I think there was another party/cafe thing in there too before the monster snark fest at the Omni commenced. I just remember shooting the shit with Derek Powazek about how everyone there, ourselves included, was just a dork with a keyboard, and thinking to myself that Dan has got the absolute greatest grin ever.
Omni Snarkfest
Ohhh I know I missed out on stuff but I’ll share with you my particular snark which I’ve already shared with a few folks. So a bunch of bloggers are standing in a circle at the Omni Hotel…it’s around 3:30 am…Some are saying it’s over, they’re pooped, and that they must leave… Alison quips “No, it’s not over…it isn’t over until…” and is interrupted by Ev. who says “what? until you sing?” To which we are all agasp with the unexpected snarkitude. (Ref: Ev’s post about accidentally calling Alison fat) To which *I* in response say “Dude, I wouldn’t talk… 1984 called and they want their jeans back.” (He was wearing faded jeans with a rip through the *knee*. Let’s go footloose now, shall we?) Brad started crying he was laughing so hard. This was followed by Anil poking fun at Ernie for knowing and demonstrating all the choreography of “Hit Me Baby, One More Time”.
(*Man, I feel bad for snarking that hard on Evan. Heaven’s knows the man is adorable and sweet and stressed out enough without having little snarky girls beat up on him over his jeans. Sheesh. Sorry Ev, don’t hate me forever, pretty please?)
Other highlights from that day?
* Chatting with Kristin & Jessica about how totally exhausted we are and how good life is. Also how it’s not really SXSW unless you leave with at least a half dozen new crushes. Puah!
* Talking with Amit about why sane, normal, good guys date really insane women (“it’s the great sex”)
* Hmmm Anil made me feel like a princess for kissing my hand.
* Listening to James do a filipino nanny impression that rivals Ritchie which startled a group of us so much that a woop was heard echoing through the atrium of the Omni
* The three north african men at the bar who asked me if my lips were real or if I paid for them. I told them they were 100% original issue. One grabbed my hand and asked me “But can it kiss”. Latent hapkido skills kicked in and squirmed out from that circle and I replied “Voted best in the Bay Area”.
Um, K.
And then there was Monday & Tuesday, weren’t there?
Oy Brief braindump highlight of Monday:
* Needed more sleep
* Some of the panels were intriguing though could have been a bit better rounded, out, I think.
* PF Chang’s has mean waitresses
* Rice Bowl meeting with the lovely & charming Deborah
* 20X2 was an excellent and concise presentation with a variety of perspectives that were really quite good. Mad props to David, Jish, Ryan, Alison, and Heather
* DFW happy hour with lovely Leia
* The LiveJournal party which was supposed to be at a goth/industrial/fetish bar. I’m sorry, I’m from detroit, the birthplace of industrial.This was rather pathetic as far as indistrial goes. And pardon me, fetish bar? um, if the only chains visible are in the bathroom holding up charmin, then this is weak. San Francisco has more leather and chains visible just from walking down castro street. Playing the Cure and Depeche Mode do not make you goth. They make you 80s. You want to talk goth, go talk to Monte.
* Still, when we meandered to the EFF party and then later to the bar across the street for real style texan 2 step music, it was fun to lie to folks and say that we saw pierced divas wearing all black or parochial uniforms and doing a live ritual piercing excercise with lesbians licking the blood off each other’s navels.
* Got to munch at the Magnolia (oh, my favorite last year… I got my icecream on my applie pie for free).
* Alison has *really* cool pants to touch when you’re a little drunk. Plus she tells really funny pirate jokes.
* And then more snarking at the Omni to the wee hours of the morning.
Tuesday?
Not much, just lunch & hugs & long rides on the plane. Delighted to be home now, and I think fairly caught up. K? You happy now?
Sheesh.
Really, all I can say is that I miss the brilliant people that I met while there. And that I broke my brain from trying to manage too much snark & great conversations such that I don’t want to talk to anything or anyone at all for a day or so until my tongue and my brain can recover. Luckily I’m just getting drunk tomorrow for St. Patties.
My gratitude goes out to Pamela & VJ who took very good care of Ernie & Bertie & I. And to Leonard who let us crash in his room the last night. Big kisses to everyone I met. Sorry but my brain’s a little zonked and I can’t remember, nor link everyone.
My photos, again, are here
More SXSW2002 photos from:
Pamela, Jish, Leia, Shaun, Meryl, Ben, Mike, Paul, Wes, Dana, Bryan, Thomas, Jason, Jon Sullivan, sxswblog.
You will now be returned to your regular program.
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