10/09/01
Hey. I’m famous. Well not really.
Woot. Oh well. So they misspelled my name and made my story sound trite. Woopie. Still, fame is fame and I am, if nothing else, a fame ho.
Life is … ok these days… getting better I suppose. Had brewskis & danced till late last night. On a monday for fricking crissakes. I’ve been unemployed too long. The weekends just don’t feel particularly special anymore when you play and don’t feel like you’ve earned it, or have nothing to wake up to the next day other than menial errand that make you feel like the day isn’t a total waste… and the energy gets sapped from knowing that there’s not enough to fill up the next day. But then again, that’s cuz I’m lazy & mopey these days.
Halfling, I think, doesn’t know what to do to cheer me up. He calls from work at 11 to make sure I’m up. Usually I’m not. Burying my head under the pillows and mumbling to the answering machine “Shut up, damn you. Shut up. Please, for the love of God. Just let me be mopey and lie under the covers for another hour feeling sorry for myself for a bit longer. At least I feel safe & warm there.”
Pathetic and lame, and un-Min Jung like. Yes, I know. I’m getting better.
I have a job interview at a spa tomorrow. Is it pathetic that my resume is among the dozens or more overqualified dot.com refugees applying for a measly position with no benefits? And then there’s the bombing overseas and the sense of impending uncertainty that comes with knowing that even more lives are gone from this earth now. Sure, there’s not a whole lot to be chipper about these days but you try.
Had a good brain storming session with Atomic boy today regarding the screenplay that has been futzing in my brain for several months now. How many words have I put down on paper yet? Don’t ask. But I’m like that. I hate writing anything down until I have most of it figured out in my head first. My writing teachers would nag me about how stubborn I was with my rewrites. My first drafts would usually be about 80% of what I’d be satisfied with as the finished product. “You’re talented. Lazy, but talented,”. they would tell me. Urm. Yeah. I won’t deny that.
I’m trying to clean out my life and realizing that i have too much stuff. I’m cleaning up my CD collection and selling a bunch off. Lame you say? Nah… just moving towards being as digital as possible. Books too. They’re just taking up space right now and I could use less clutter.
What I’m struggling with most these days is a sense of clarity. I know I’m not the only one. But I’m really hungry for it and have been praying about it a lot. Clarity. Direction. And confidence that what I’m trying to do with my life is the right thing to do.
Some recent conclusions: I am not going to apply to gradschool this year. I’m not hungry enough for it. Yet. I may be hungry enough for it in the future, but I think it’s lame to apply just because I don’t know what else to do with my life. It’s the easy out and I’d rather spend my time focused on figuring out what really makes me happy, satisfied, and motivated for the present time and re-evaluate my goals. Still, that clarity thing. Praying on it. Yeah.
Yesterday I spent two hours at the airport with my friend Colaboy. I call him that because he once nearly squished himself while rocking a vending machine with two other friends. After his narrow escape from beneath the machine, the words “Do Not Tilt” were impressed onto his forehead. True story. The fellow also hijacked an icecream truck in chicago when he was 10 with two buddies and gave free ice cream out to all his pals. Now he works for the state department and has two passports - a general US citizen’s and a diplomatic passport. Obviously the state department doesn’t know enough for his criminal past. But boy has he got some dumb ambassador stories. Like the one ambassador (not one of the US’s mind you) who tried to buy a waitress at a bar. Or the one caught driving drunk with 2 lbs of coke in his trunk and some loaded rifles. An extraordinary life Colaboy has. And fantabulous stories.
Colaboy had a layover there after a trip to vegas with his coworkers at the State Department. Can you imagine being in the grand canyon when hearing about the bombings in Afghanistan? Especially with his job? Uh… suxors, dude. He’s got training within the next few weeks at a facility just outside the Pentagon. Anyway, Colaboy and Germ are guilty of heroic acts of friendship. A few years back, I had a 4 hour layover in chicago, from 4 AM to 8. The boys drove from Urbana (2 hours I think) to picnic with me at the airport, keep me company, and feed me goodies. So, when he called at 7Am to say he had a layover and wanted some company, I couldn’t refuse. Sitting in baggage claim, we noted how there are military security with loaded rifles in the airport and how weird it felt, being back home in the US and now feeling odd about the obvious military presence there. Long tight hugs from good friends remind you of who you are, what brilliance you’re capable of, what love you have, and what God’s gifts are in human kindness.
Min Jung
Sweet dreams you all *Smak* 
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