October 2001 Archive

Happy Halloween!

10/31/01
Happy Halloween!

Hope that all the boils & ghouls are out tonight causing scandal and delight. I’ll be dressed up as a molly mart. What is a molly mart you ask? It’s one of those crazy ladies in slippers, bathrobe & curlers in her hair that insists on going to the market late at night to squeeze the zuchini and tomatoes. In other words, I don’t really feel like changing out of my pajamas this morning so pht! Ha!

Either that or I’ll just vedge at home & pass out candy. Halloween has never been a big holiday with me…. for a number of reasons.
Being among the few minority families during this season in suburbia Michigan, our house would sometimes get vandalized either during halloween or the night before, pleasantly referred to as Devil’s night when the news would be overwhelmed with reports of car fire bombs, arson, & crap like that. Mostly insurance fraud from what I’ve been recently been told but frightening none the less when you’re little.

On Halloween day, one trick or treater, behind a horrible mask, asked for candy. And I gave it to him. Instead of saying thanks he called me a chink to my face. And then ran off. I chased after him, chucking tootsie rolls at his back. Stoopid. Yeah I know.

And being catholic, the reminder that Halloween really isn’t anything but a pre-cursor for November 1st, all souls day, a day when you pray and remember the departed. So since my mom passed away nearly 10 years ago, November 1st has always had more significance for me. It’s a day that I sit, light a candle, say a little prayer, and chat with my mom for an hour or so. So there you go, I speak with ghosts but not on halloween.

** ** ** ** ** **
So glad that it stopped raining around here and that the sun is out, bright, and in full force.After staying up obscenely late watching even more flicks last night, it was good to sleep in and feel like it was allowable to do. There’s a lot to hope for and keep in mind for november so I’m keeping my chin up and trying to stay on top of it all.

And yeah, there’s enough to keep on top of.
Not the least of which includes finally putting together a real semi portfolio of publications, magazines, newsletters, journals, zines & what not that I’ve been published in ~all those little things that I’ve written up and never considered to be worthy to note otherwise.

Then there’s still finding the day job. Yeah… still looking and still waiting to hear from places. Yada yada yada. Now that is the shit that’s scary these days.

Soo….

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Boo.
While chilling with Bleak and Aaron this past weekend in Los Angeles, the notion of spooking online peeps came to mind. We would grab paper plates, draw faces on them, and pop on the front steps of shy bloggers pretending to be goofy trick or treaters. I think we would have given her and her a good scare as stalkers…good thing we got lazy though, huh?

Min Jung

Posted by Min Jung in General

10/30/01

City of Angels
Just got back from an extended weekend trip to the city of angels.A little tired but happy, got some writing ideas, some emotional support, some fried chicken & waffles, some naps, a lamp, another wedding attended, some time with the adorable princessbaby, some chill time with friends, some DVD watching including Miss Congeniality, Bring It On, & In the Mood For Love.

Give me a day or two to get back to my normal cycle.
Thank you thank you thank you to the friends who sent me huggy emails.
They made me feel all warm & fuzzy. I appreciate it muchly.

The next big task for me is putting together Ernie’s bday party.
Wooot.

Laters & Happy All Hollows Eve/Eve

Min Jung

Posted by Min Jung in General

10/25/01

20/20 Vision
They always say that you have 20/20 hindsight right? What if you could predict your bad behavior?

In an chat conversation earlier this evening. This in reference to 3 boys.

* Bustedboy (a current non factor who I had dinner with a bit back)
* SD
* (STBXPFMIDIB) which is short for “Soon To Be eX Platonic Friend Maybe I dunno I’m Blathering”

[Me = Min Jung]: hey, some guy (SD) asked me out too…
[Me = Min Jung]: so I’m not weeping over *bustedboy* or anyone else right now.
[bleak]: really?
[Me = Min Jung]: though it would be rather nice to have a sugar daddy.
[bleak]: through your journal?
[Me = Min Jung]: that guy?
[Me = Min Jung]: nah, through a party I went to on Saturday
[bleak]: kewl
[Me = Min Jung]: it’s funny, I don’t remember talking to him at all but he tracked me down via ii stix
(apparently we were all chatting about it a little bit)
[bleak]: are you guys going out
[Me = Min Jung]: and he emailed me
[bleak]: ?
[bleak]: was huggy emails/ :-)
[Me = Min Jung]: his was a mini huggy email
[Me = Min Jung]: I’ve been getting some really nice ones from some other folks too
[bleak]: I’m glad
[Me = Min Jung]: and then there’s also this guy STBXPFMIDIB who I know from like way in the past
and we met up at the party on Saturday too
[Me = Min Jung]: I wasn’t expecting to see him at all and we were chatting & shtuff
[Me = Min Jung]: planning on meeting up some time next week too, him and the SD guy…
[Me = Min Jung]: I forwarded one email jot back & forth to ya
[bleak]: kewl
[Me = Min Jung]: for kicks & giggles
[bleak]: heh. ok
[bleak]:hey, at least you’re getting dates~ admired and loved~
[bleak]: hey, do you got any pictures of these men?
[Me = Min Jung]: no dear, fraid not.
[bleak]: are they cute?
[bleak]: hahaa
[Me = Min Jung]: STBXPFMIDIB is skinny dorky christian super nice guy cute.
[bleak]: aww
[bleak]: sounds like aaron
[Me = Min Jung]: the kind that usually become your platonic friend until someone else falls in love with them
[bleak]: bhaha
[Me = Min Jung]: and then you realize you’re an idiot and it’s way too late, right?
[Me = Min Jung]: you know what i mean?
[bleak]: yeah
[bleak]: i know what you mean
… … …
[Me = Min Jung]: it’s sooo lame that to perk me up out of my depression, all i need are two boys to hit on me.

Ok…
is it *bad* if I use ii stix as way to get picked up on?

“Oh yeah, I’m an online humor columnist”
…(not an unemployed loser eating shrimp chips in my pajamas)

“Oh, you can email me from the site”…
(cuz I’m a loser and don’t have a business card…and I don’t want to take yours because I’ll probably lose it when I am wearing this outfit without pockets and damnit, no I’m not going to tuck your card in my bra… maybe the back of my skirt/panties where it’ll still fall out but not the bra.. .cuz then it’ll *definitely* fall out or get lost in all the kleenex)

“You should visit the site.. .funny stuff there for Asian Americans”
(…and discussions about people trying to buy my panties…)

Scary but true.

Posted by Min Jung in General

European Adventure!

10/24/01 – Happy Sunshiney Day

Ok Folks, when did my life become an Alanis song.
I’m broke but I’m happy
I’m poor but I’m kind
I’m short but I’m healthy, yeah

Yup. Still haven’t found a job yet. No temp work yet. *Sigh*.
But I’ve been given good reminders that I’m still loved and that I write well.Got anything? Editorial internship? Writing gigs? Marketing coordination stuff? Press releases? Administrative stuff? Whatever, for gawsh sake, hire me.

I’m high but I’m grounded
I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed
I’m lost but I’m hopeful baby

I’m still not sure what the future portends for me but I still rely on my faith in God and what is supposed to happen will happen and I’ll be just fine in the meantime. I’ve got possibilities, between eating balut in vancouver to goign to Korea and teaching English. Anything’s possible. It’s just a matter of staying positive. And yeah, I’m a bit out of my slump these days. I cleaned up my room, watered my long waiting japanese maple bonzai seedlets put the baby bamboo plants ont he window ledge in little tea cups, anchored with smooth pebbles, etc. It’s nice to know that there is a little something living in your bedroom.

What it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine
Cuz I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

My friends are really good to me. They give me calls to remind me that I’m loved and that I’m capable and strong.
And yeah, that everything’s going to be fine fine fine.

I feel drunk but I’m sober
I’m young and I’m underpaid
I’m tired but I’m working, yeah

My brain’s felt a little freezer burned lately. Not feeling creatively motivated and stuck, looping. I think it’s thawed out a little bit now. I joke around and say hey, at least I have my looks and my health, right? Yeah… that’s a good thing considering I can’t afford health insurance these days.

Just like anyone & everyone that has a pretty large emotional reservoir, I have these cycles of extreme emotional entrenchment. Whether it’s joy, depression, anger, etc. I wouldn’t necessarily call it moodiness and I definitely wouldnt’ consider my moods a direct reflection on the condition of my uterus, but hey, the emotions in me tend to be… well, rather grand.

I remember being 13 and the smallest, shortest, most physically immature among my peers. I wouldn’t get my first period until I was 17. I wouldn’t need a bra until… well maybe last week. (Still an 35 A minus…sad huh?) My first serious bout of depression came that year when my elementery school friends rejected me completely. They had conspired to reject me, leave me out of their lunch room table, parties, everything. As if it weren’t hard enough for me to always feel so different. I never invited friends home becuase I was scared of their reaction to the smells of kim chi from our kitchen, or how we never sat on the couch but ripped off the cushions to sit on the floor, or the garden with rows and rows of chili peppers. Or worse, if my mother’s lady friends would be over and they’d walk behind our yard in the park, with wide straw hats, motley shirts & pants with the cuff wrapped up to their ankles. They’d have sharp dirty knives with them as they went out to collect wild dandelion greens. These things shamed me and I’d feel so alien to myself and to everyone else I knew. That was the first time my brain felt freeze-dried.

I couldn’t process my emotions so I just stopped thinking. Feeling. Talking.
I cocooned myself utterly. And yeah, I’ve been doing that again lately, not responding to emails, staying off of IM, ignoring the phone, etc. It happens but sooner or later, the brain demands some sunshine, thaws and oftens up a little around the edges, and the heart and hands want to be touched again. Just a tender little stroke down the middle of the palm of your hand. That little thing that reminds you that everything’s going to be fine fine fine.

I care but I’m restless
I’m here but I’m really gone
I’m wrong and I’m sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright

My friend works for the Americorp and has been asking me for some time to volunteer as an English tutor. I’d love to and I do care. But it seems unreasonable to do something like that when i am uneasy how the next month’s rent is going to get paid. I dont’ know what my schedule is going to look like from one week to the next, will I get temp work? Hmm maybe, or not. You just gotta keep plugging away and trying.

To my family, for being so stubborn and not wanting to move home and admit defeat, I’m sorry, but I still dont’ consider me wrong. I’ll stick it out here and eat ramen rather than walk home with my tail between my legs. The feelign I get is sort of like when I was 5 and rand away from home. I had packed some food, a doll, my red blanket, and of all things, a heating pad. When it got dark enough for me to be scared to come home, my brother immediately unpacked my bag, throwing my things carelessly to the floor. Then started laughing at me because I’d packed an electrical heating pad.
“Where were you going to plug it in?”
“I would hide in people’s backyards and plug it in their wall socket outside”
“You’re dumb.”
“You’re stinky.”

And yeah… 20 years later, our arguments could probably be distilled down to those basic components again.I was a loopy thinking kind of kid. Considering how many times I jumped off of high things with umbrellas, I never really acquired flight but never broke any bones either.

Cuz I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven’t got it all figured out just yet
Cuz I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

Yeah, I’m still smoking. Don’;t nag.
I’m still figuring out other stuff right now and I don’t need the smoking guilt to make me feel worse.
Scram.

I’m free but I’m focused
I’m green but I’m wise
I’m hard but I’m friendly baby
I’m sad but I’m laughing
I’m brave but I’m chicken shit
I’m sick but I’m pretty baby

What it all boils down to
Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet
Cuz I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything’s just fine fine fine
Cuz I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

Yeah.

Last year’s archives have been removed. I’ve never thought I’d keep up this site for that long.
Honestly. And though I still have archives for myself, it still hurt to have to pull down all those pages from the last year or so. As GG & I were emailign each other about it, it’s a shame when a few ugly people make it hard to still be human online.

Min Jung

——————————————————————————–

Posted by Min Jung in General

Wowza

10/22/01 – Wowza

First off.
Greetings to all the gentle peeps from Metafilter. I’m not a real blogger. I’m not an internet rockstar. I’m not a real news hound. I don’t know the guy who wrote the “Real Deal” piece but it was forwarded to me by my friend ColaBoy who works for the US State Department so I trust his sources about the validity of the content of the message if not the identity of the individual who wrote it. I am just a dork with a keyboard. By the way, thanks to Richard for the linkup mention.

Edogg was kind enough to provide clarification on the angry piece of toast that was mentioned in my last real entry.
“The angry bread guy that you have is dokumun… kogepan is a suicidal depressed piece of bread. “

Weekend Update – Saturday All Day Play
So saturday morning I had the honor of being the guest of Jeff’s for a wedding where I expected to know a big goosehead of familiar peeps. Whaddaya know? It wound up being “Let’s catch up on the last 5 years of your life 20,000 questions and win a bubble tea” with a few other people there at the wedding and reception. That kind of stuff always makes wedding attendance easier. It really does. The bride & groom were lovely, the MC of the reception succeeded in making everyone laugh in both Chinese & English, and I made a guy sitting at our table eat a fish eyeball. The expression on his face was priceless.

Between the wedding and the reception, me and a few other folks from the wedding caught Iron Monkey.
In two words. KICK ASS. Phenomenal fight sequences, well paced, and not too heavily bogged down by plot.

Following the wedding was another B.A.P. (Big Asian Party) where I saw dozens of old friends and we did a super finalist round of “Let’s catch up on the last 5 years of your life 20,000 questions and win a bubble tea.”
There was a minor incident involving a golem which really peeved me.

Golem Shit Heads
First off. This fellow is creepy. Not only is he creepy, he’s annoying, pestersome, gossipy, sensationalist, uncouth, insensitve, and a general ass. He is the type of guy that makes your drink curdle (and it doesn’t even have to be dairy for the lactose intolerant). Five years ago, there was some *conflict* involving an xfactor of mine and his new girlfriend. What was very private information involved three partys. Me, my ex, and his new gal. What made the situation sensitive was that we were all, in one form or fashion, involved in a professional organization. Further that with the fact that my ex overlapped the periods when he was dating either of us. Yeah, that’s why he’s an ex.

Anyways, myself, not in the most emotionally receptive condition (to be expected right?) was cool to the new girl.
Golem proceeded to take it upon himslf to call the new girl, tell her that it’s not *her* that I’m mad at but *him*.
Excuse me? Is this Golem’s business? What the fuck? Golem is not my friend, has no right to interject himself into the situation or feel an obligation to speak on my behalf. Right? Asshole. Shortly after this call that golem made, xfacor called me up to discuss why this shit was hitting the fan?
I proceeded to call up Golem and bitch his sorry ass out as is well deserved.

Flash forward five years to saturday night where Golem, who I, for obvious reasons have avoided any but the most peripheral contact with, is talking about me to others at the B.A.P. Apparently having discovered this website, the golem decided that “hey, MJ’s popular, she’s fun, she’s talking to people and *I* have no friends here” makes a weak forray at trying to be cool and acting like he’s my pal, decides to drop a scintillating piece of information that he thinks will crank up his *cool* meter.

“Hey, did you know that Min Jung has a picture of the tattoo on her ass on the internet?”

Uh, Hello? DO YOU WANT ME TO STEP ON YOUR NECK YOU JERK?

So yes. There is indeed a picture of my tatoo buried in this website. But of all the things to say regarding me and this little home that I’ve created online, that it’s a journal, that I record my life, my thoughts, my writing portfolio, and other bits and pieces of what’s going on with me decides that *the one thing* worth mentioning about me to a circle of people that he doesn’t know is that he’s seen a pix of my tatoo on the internet. I know I’ve never even told this creep about this personal page but he’s discovered it. And decided that the only thing really worthy of mention is that. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Here’s a nickle. Buy a clue. That was fucking insensitive, stupid, and obnoxious. A sensationalist emotionally vacuous and manipulative, insensitive expression of how stupidly ugly some individuals can be.

In my most cordial attempt at patience, I told the Golem to *GO AWAY*.
This is my lesser cordial request if he’s reading this.

I swear, some people have less sense than what God gave a backstreetboy.

The rest of the evening, good, fun, great catching up with genuine friends, and drinking too much. Even though the guy impersonating Phil Ting at the BAP spilled my beer on my shoes.

Skinny Panda
Sunday was spent napping, chilling, dining, and seeing Zoolander with The Phil and ompany. He’s a good guy and it was good to chill, decompress, and chat fireside. Yeah, he’s still jealous of my home and I don’t mind a moment him flipping me the bird in envy.

Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me
It’s getting nipply these days and the central heating is getting a long deserved stretch but has apparently unsettled an entire cavalcade of flies into my bedroom. Finally those cobwebs in the rafters are useful for something as I now see a half dozen buzzers suspended and wrapped for fall feasting by the arachnid roommates. It’s still gross though and I’m using hairspray to stop them in their tracks before dustbusting their carcasses up.

Peace Out Folks,
Min Jung

Posted by Min Jung in General

PSA

10/19/01 – Public Service Announcement

“Real” Deal about Nuclear, Bio, and Chem Attacks
Since the media has decided to scare everyone with predictions of chemical, biological, or nuclear warfare on our turf I decided to write a paper and keep things in their proper perspective. I am a retired military weapons, munitions, and training expert.

Lesson number one: In the mid 1990′s there were a series of nerve gas attacks on crowded Japanese subway stations. Given perfect conditions for an attack less than 10% of the people there were injured (the injured were better in a few hours) and only one percent of the injured died. 60 Minutes once had a fellow telling us that one drop of nerve gas could kill a thousand people, well he didn’t tell you the thousand dead people per drop was theoretical. Drill Sergeants exaggerate how terrible this stuff was to keep the recruits awake in class (I know this because I was a Drill Sergeant too).

Forget everything you’ve ever seen on TV, in the movies, or read in a novel about this stuff, it was all a lie
(read this sentence again out loud!)! These weapons are about terror, if you remain calm, you will probably not die. This is far less scary than the media and their “Experts,” make it sound.

Chemical weapons are categorized as Nerve, Blood, Blister, and Incapacitating agents. Contrary to the hype of reporters and politicians they are not weapons of mass destruction. Instead, they are “Area denial”, and terror weapons that don’t destroy anything. When you leave the area you almost always leave the risk. That’s the difference; you can leave the area and the risk; soldiers may have to stay put and sit through it and that’s why they need all that spiffy gear.

These are not gasses, they are vapors and/or air borne particles. The agent must be delivered in sufficient quantity to kill/injure, and that defines when/how it’s used. Every day we have a morning and evening inversion where “stuff,” suspended in the air gets pushed down. This inversion is why allergies (pollen) and air pollution are worst at these times of the day. So, a chemical attack will have it’s best effect an hour of so either side of sunrise/sunset. Also, being vapors and airborne particles they are heavier than air so they will seek low places like ditches, basements and underground garages.

This stuff won’t work when it’s freezing, it doesn’t last when it’s hot, and wind spreads it too thin – too fast.
They’ve got to get this stuff on you, or, get you to inhale it for it to work. They also have to get the concentration of chemicals high enough to kill or wound you. Too little and it’s nothing, too much and it’s wasted.
What I hope you’ve gathered by this point is that a chemical weapons attack that kills a lot of people is incredibly hard to do with military grade agents and equipment so you can imagine how hard it will be for terrorists. The more you know about this stuff the more you realize how hard it is to use.
We’ll start by talking about nerve agents. You have these in your house, plain old bug killer (like Raid) is nerve agent. All nerve agents work the same way; they are cholinesterase inhibitors that mess up the signals your nervous system uses to make your body function. It can harm you if you get it on your skin but it works best if they can get you to inhale it. If you don’t die in the first minute and you can leave the area you’re probably gonna live. The military’s antidote for all nerve agents is atropine and pralidoxime chloride. Neither one of these does anything to cure the nerve agent, they send your body into overdrive to keep you alive for five minutes, after that the agent is used up. Your best protection is fresh air and staying calm.

Listed below are the symptoms for nerve agent poisoning.
Sudden headache, Dimness of vision (someone you’re looking at will have pinpointed pupils), Runny nose, Excessive saliva or drooling, Difficulty breathing, Tightness in chest, Nausea, Stomach cramps, Twitching of exposed skin where a liquid just got on you. If you are in public and you start experiencing these symptoms, first ask yourself, did anything out of the ordinary just happen, a loud pop, did someone spray something on the crowd? Are other people getting sick too? Is there an odor of new mown hay, green corn, something fruity, or camphor where it shouldn’t be?

If the answer is yes, then calmly (if you panic you breathe faster and inhale more air/poison) leave the area and head up wind, or, outside. Fresh air is the best “right now antidote”. If you have a blob of liquid that looks like molasses or Karo syrup on you; blot it or scrape it off and away from yourself with anything disposable. This stuff works based on your body weight, what a crop duster uses to kill bugs won’t hurt you unless you stand there and breathe it in real deep, then lick the residue off the ground for while. Remember they have to do all the work, they have to get the concentration up and keep it up for several minutes while all you have to do is quit getting it on you/quit breathing it by putting space between you and the attack.
Blood agents are cyanide or arsine which effect your blood’s ability to provide oxygen to your tissue. The scenario for attack would be the same as nerve agent. Look for a pop or someone splashing/spraying something and folks around there getting woozy/falling down. The telltale smells are bitter almonds or garlic where it shouldn’t be.

The symptoms are blue lips, blue under the fingernails rapid breathing. The military’s antidote is amyl nitride and just like nerve agent antidote it just keeps your body working for five minutes till the toxins are used up. Fresh air is the your best individual chance.

Blister agents (distilled mustard) are so nasty that nobody wants to even handle it let alone use it. It’s almost impossible to handle safely and may have delayed effect of up to 12 hours. The attack scenario is also limited to the things you’d see from other chemicals. If you do get large, painful blisters for no apparent reason, don’t pop
them, if you must, don’t let the liquid from the blister get on any other area, the stuff just keeps on spreading. It’s just as likely to harm the user as the target. Soap, water, sunshine, and fresh air are this stuff’s enemy.

Bottom line on chemical weapons (it’s the same if they use industrial chemical spills); they are intended to make you panic, to terrorize you, to herd you like sheep to the wolves. If there is an attack, leave the area and go upwind, or to the sides of the wind stream. They have to get the stuff to you, and on you. You’re more likely to be hurt by a drunk driver on any given day than be hurt by one of these attacks.

Your odds get better if you leave the area. Soap, water, time, and fresh air really deal this stuff a knock-out-punch. Don’t let fear of an isolated attack rule your life. The odds are really on your side.

Nuclear bombs. These are the only weapons of mass destruction on earth. The effects of a nuclear bomb are heat, blast, EMP, and radiation. If you see a bright flash of light like the sun, where the sun isn’t, fall to the ground! The heat will be over a second. Then there will be two blast waves, one out going, and one on it’s way back.

Don’t stand up to see what happened after the first wave; anything that’s going to happen will have happened in two full minutes. These will be low yield devices and will not level whole cities. If you live through the heat, blast, and initial burst of radiation, you’ll probably live for a very very long time. Radiation will not create fifty foot tall women, or giant ants and grass hoppers the size of tanks. These will be at the most 1 kiloton bombs; that’s the equivalent of 1,000 tons of TNT.

Here’s the real deal, flying debris and radiation will kill a lot of exposed (not all!) people within a half mile of the blast. Under perfect conditions this is about a half mile circle of death and destruction, but, when it’s done it’s done. EMP stands for Electro Magnetic Pulse and it will fry every electronic device for a good distance, it’s impossible to say what and how far but probably not over a couple of miles from ground zero is a good guess. Cars, cell phones, computers, ATMs, you name it, all will be out of order.

There are lots of kinds of radiation, you only need to worry about three, the others you have lived with for years.
You need to worry about “Ionizing radiation”, these are little sub atomic particles that go whizzing along at the speed of light. They hit individual cells in your body, kill the nucleus and keep on going. That’s how you get radiation poisoning, you have so many dead cells in your body that the decaying cells poison you. It’s the same as people getting radiation treatments for cancer, only a bigger area gets radiated. The good news is you don’t have to just sit there and take it, and there’s lots you can do rather than panic.

First; your skin will stop alpha particles, a page of a news paper or your clothing will stop beta particles, you just gotta try and avoid inhaling dust that’s contaminated with atoms that are emitting these things and you’ll be generally safe from them. Gamma rays are particles that travel like rays (quantum physics makes my brain hurt) and they create the same damage as alpha and beta particles only they keep going and kill lots of cells as they go all the way through your body. It takes a lot to stop these things, lots of dense material, on the other hand it takes a lot of this to kill you.

Your defense is as always to not panic. Basic hygiene and normal preparation are your friends. All canned or frozen food is safe to eat. The radiation poisoning will not effect plants so fruits and vegetables are OK if there’s no dust on em (rinse em off if there is).

If you don’t have running water and you need to collect rain water or use water from wherever, just let it sit for thirty minutes and skim off the water gently from the top. The dust with the bad stuff in it will settle and the remaining water can be used for the toilet which will still work if you have a bucket of water to pour in the tank.
Finally there’s biological warfare. There’s not much to cover here. Basic personal hygiene and sanitation will take you further than a million doctors. Wash your hands often, don’t share drinks, food, sloppy kisses, etc., … with strangers. Keep your garbage can with a tight lid on it, don’t have standing water (like old buckets, ditches, or kiddie pools) laying around to allow mosquitoes breeding room. This stuff is carried by vectors, that is bugs, rodents, and contaminated material. If biological warfare is so easy as the TV makes it sound, why has Saddam Hussein spent twenty years, millions, and millions of dollars trying to get it right? If you’re clean of person and home you eat well and are active you’re gonna live.

Overall preparation for any terrorist attack is the same as you’d take for a big storm. If you want a gas mask, fine, go get one. I know this stuff and I’m not getting one and I told my Mom not to bother with one either (how’s that for confidence). We have a week’s worth of cash, several days worth of canned goods and plenty of soap and water. We don’t leave stuff out to attract bugs or rodents so we don’t have them. These people can’t conceive a nation this big with this much resources. These weapons are made to cause panic, terror, and to demoralize. If we don’t run around like sheep they won’t use this stuff after they find out it’s no fun. The government is going nuts over this stuff because they have to protect every inch of America. You’ve only gotta protect yourself, and by doing that, you help the country.

Finally, there are millions of caveats to everything I wrote here and you can think up specific scenarios where my advice isn’t the best. This letter is supposed to help the greatest number of people under the greatest number of situations. If you don’t like my work, don’t nit pick, just sit down and explain chemical, nuclear, and biological warfare in a document around three pages long yourself. This is how we the people of the United States can rob these people of their most desired goal, your terror.
SFC Red Thomas (Ret)
Armor Master Gunner
Mesa, AZ
Unlimited reproduction and distribution is authorized.
Just give me credit for my work, and, keep incontext.

Posted by Min Jung in General

Back Again

10/19/01

I’m back again.

Still not a whole lot goign on in my life these days. No wacky adventures involving priests, nuns, grand theft larceny, freaks hitting on me with cheeseburgers, stalkers or the like. Nah, just chilling and that’s ok.

I’ve been spending my time watching cob webs catch the light of afternoon and listening to squirrels above my head.
A bird staired at me today. It had bright blue feathers and a dark crown. It made me think back to those Shirley temple flicks whee there was always a quest for a special blue bird. My addled brain can’t remember what it was all about but there was always some sort of joyful omen in seeing a blue bird. I can hold on to hope for such things.

PMSing
While in the middle of ER an irrational pms craving snuck up on me and wrestled me to the ground. After stepping on my neck it made this demand.

“SALT & VINEGAR CHIPS— PRINGLES—-NOW!”

I grabbed my wallet & keys and ran out the door.
The gal houesemates speculate that I’ll be a total terror when I’m pregnant and have manic cravings. Personally I wouldn’t doubt it. I’ll want chicken & waffles for breakfast, icecream for lunch, and yogurt with crumbled twix bars for mid afternoon snack, and a turkey for dinner. Late night cravings will involve pastrami sandwhiches, animal style double doubles from in & out or tang soo yok & jjia jjiang myun. Or kimchi jjigheh with a fried spam patties and an egg on top. *Shudder*.

Re-Fobbing? Maybe.
Maybe I’m just frustrated because no other doors have opened up and revealed themselves to me lately but I’m considering moving to Korea, HK, or Japan to teach English for a year. I’d sell of my car, sublet my room and scoot my ass over for a year. My worldly belongings that I’d take with me? Clothes, computer, and a couple bottles of wine. I’d put everything else in storage for a year or sell it off. There are stranger things I could do and yes, I know it seems rather extreme, but what else are my options?

Writing Shtuff
Word on the streets is that Nikei Times has a quote on me re: APAture and Kearny Street Workshop. Look for it. I don’t know the details like which date, if it’s evn out yet, etc…but if anyone spots it, please let me know.

Here’s a link to the *first* article that I wrote for KoreAm Journal. I have since written a few other pieces for them and recently conducted an interview on their behalf which will be a big piece in either their december or january issue.
Trust me, it was hard for me to approach the interview with either a *straight face* or a non predjudiced attitude but it actually turned out to be pretty decent and I hope the transcript & the article turn out as well.

I also recently updated my writing resume with a list of all the pubs that I’ve been published in.
Any advice on how to tweak it a bit more?

Laters & Peace Out
Min Jung




Posted by Min Jung in General

10/17/01

Where have I been lately?
The answer is really no where. No where in particular. In the last week or so on the weekdays I haven’t gotten out of the house much. The weekdays trickle into each other without very much definition and my activities have been simple and humble. I’ve indulged in sleeping by the fireplace, downloading entire soundtracks from morpheus, ignoring emails, and reading graphic novels. I’ve also been looking for work but that has been… well fruitless and continues to be discouraging. That’s about it really. I’ve been feeling generally reticent…and pensive.

Got this as an email from my friend re: Christina’s memorial service
(Thanks ES. hope you’re ok with me pubbing this)

hey mj,

got back last night. the service for christina was beautiful yet sad. there were a lot of people there-from her high school, U of M, family and friends from as far as japan, the church was almost filled. the service was a catholic mass but in korean, so i knew what was going on but did not understand what they were saying. when i went up for communion, the priest had to pause and decide if he should say “body of christ” in english or korean (english). the father’s words moved everyone to tears, saying how he misses her and that he will be a better father the next time they are together.

the banquet was at a chinese restaurant, where everyone drowned their sorrows in a halo-halo of so ju and bek ju. the program consisted of a video collage which began with the local newscast story on Christina and her parents hoping beyond hope that she will return and ended with various home videos of her on family vacations. then a recording of her singing as a 7 year old. finally a power point slide show, pictures from her early years to adulthood. one picture included you, Christina and others wearing hambuks.

a wide range of emotions were on display, from tables screaming toasts to Christina to others crying in each others’ arms. her childhood friend who put together the program held up remarkably well and was strong for everyone, until the end when she broke down and cried. her parents cried. we all cried. it’s as if the realization/mourning/healing could not become real until that day. afterwards, we went back to the motel and drank and hung out til the morning.

that was the weekend. as for me, i am toggling between this email and the anthrax and mail guidlines emailed to all staff. crazy.

glad to hear that you were able to go dancing. can’t wait until i go. for me, when i get into the groove, the music and movements touch something deep within. lately, deep within has been filled with sadness and i didn’t want to go there. but now hope and faith are starting to fill the void, so maybe i can put the ol’ dancin’ shoes on again soon.

warm regards,

ES
p.s.
every time i am asked if i like kimchi jigeh, i go: “i can get jigeh with it! ~na na na na na na, na na na na na na–gettin’ jigeh with it~ hahahahahhaahhaha…i think it’s funny.

The weekends are slightly more interesting.
In the Navy
So last saturday I drove down to visit my cousin Clare in the navy. I was her *date* for the annual ball and was asked to wear conservative but elegant clothing. It was a black tie event if you weren’t military and wearing “dress mess”. Actually it was the first time I saw my cousin in uniform. She looked slick. So imagine about 400 navy folks dressed to kill in every variety of formal uniform on the planet. And add to that about 300 chicks wearing prom dresses which are far too young, hoochie, and too tight for them. Um yeah. Interesting crowd.

The evening’s program was a reasonably formal event that started off with color guard presentation, benediction, a speech, and rememberance of those still POW or lost at sea. This was immediately followed, at my table, with a chorus of “We represent the lullabye league” after sucking down the helium from a dozen or so baloons. Yes sir, navy men & women with giggly high pitched voices singing from the Wizard of Oz. The sense of our nation’s security has rarely left me more terrrified.

This was immediately followed by mad dancing to 80s hip hop and rap. So try now to imagine about 698 white people trying to dance like black people to MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This” in prom dresses and navy whites. It. Was. Not. Pretty. I didn’t want to stick out so of course I busted out with the roger rabbit. An impressive feat in a floorlength dress and heels, I assure you.

Blogger Fanatabulosa
Yes, everyone’s already written about it and so I have very little to contribute otherwise but it was a good week for meeting other bloggers & Journalists.

Friday: TAJ Crew:
Kevin, Anita, Aaron, Lan, Ed, Nelson & CK
Lovely dinner, and company.
Nelson is a flowbee head & cross stitches
CK is a lucky woman
Kevin’s got a hot girlfreind
Ed is, as always, up for scandal
Lan throws fun garage sales
Anita makes kick ass jook too
Aaron, is as always, a tremendous sweetie

Friday/Sunday: Survivor Blog Crew
Ernie, Ritchie, Belinda, Dave
Chilling over smirnoff ice while watching buffy and smoking way too much
Krispy Kreme donuts. after Jolibee
Ernie scratching his ass.
Ritchie in ecstacy after SF food tour
Belinda blue head is a hot babe (as always)
Dave humping a pole…too…weird..for…words (and I wasn’t even there…just saw the pix)

Tuesday: Hot Diggity
Josh
Dinner and chilling. Quite nice.
Not nearly as ghetto as I expected.

Note to self: Don’t forget to have some white friends once in a while. Um.. yeah.

Going to try & keep myself busy today.
Lates,

MJ

Posted by Min Jung in General

10/11/01

Girls Night In
Thank God almighty for girls night in. No seriously. Get down on your knees and say thanky.Kind of like a weird combination of Eat Drink Man Woman & Waiting to Exhale, but with Catholic repression. So um, yeah, 4 20-something single Korean Catholic girls sitting by the fireplace & catching up with serious girl talk and at least one of them pulling that “Girl… you don’t even want to go there” comment on occasion. So yeah, my church group gal pals came over tonight for eats, sitting by the fire, and chit chatting about eveything from upcoming dates to masturbation. *Cough* Yeah.

One gal gave away a pocket rocket that she’d gotten as a gift from her non Catholic friends and regrets it immensely. I feel for her. This is the same sunshine that kept on losing her shoes all over my house. So Korean sometimes. She kept on wanting to take them off as most Koreans do when entering a home, and would immediatley forget where she left them. My house is a bit too big & dusty to go barefoot in and I leave my shoes outside the door of my bedroom and keep my carpet reasonably tidy. Re the pocket rocket, I say, when in doubt or out of batteries, a woman has gotta take things *cough* into her own hands, right? The rest of the evening’s conversations were warm & cuddly and affirming enoug to help me clear my head a bit of the fog that has been overwhelming me of late. Except for that 20 minute bikini clad pillow fight that we had in jello. Boy did I take a beating then. Kidding. We’re good bible study gals afterall.
Besides, Catholics prefer pudding. (Puah)

This was a funny conclusion to an evening that started out with a prayer of thanks over kimchi jjigeh.I swear to goodness, if I ever write a screenplay about girlbonding it will not involve food in the title, but will still feature the dozen or so concoctions that I can make with kimchi. Not as the featured integral part of the film (ie Eat Drink Man Woman, the best quality crab in Joy Luck Club, or Tampopo) but as a sidenote. Just one of those things.

Some things that I can wip up with Kimchi
~ KimChi JJigeh
~ KimChi Fried Rice
~ KimChi Stuffing
~ KimChi Ramen
~ KimChi scallion pancakes
~ Kimchi & Burlgogi toasted sandwhiches (surprisingly good)
~ Kimchi Burgers (chopped into the beef patties before grilling)

I’m sure I’ll remember a couple more food ideas with Kimchi in the stinky dreams I will have tonight. Surprisingly enough, I have never really gotten my hands dirty enought to make KimChi from scratch but plan to give it a go sometime.

Halfing finally managed to drag me out of the house this morning. I pulled together another monster list of things to do to clear my head over coffee and a brutal walk up hill. Sunshine in the air and blue skies too. Life ain’t so bad after all.

While I’m still praying for clarity and certainty about my future, I am trusting a little more that my friends, all the good people who really care for me, will be there for me when I’m not feeling *Min Jung-like* (Whatever that means, sassy, irreverant, confident, fierce, sexy, yada yada) and love me when I’m strong and even more when I am willing to allow myself to feel weak. Maybe I’m not too strange to be loveable after all.

Min Jung

Posted by Min Jung in General

10/09/01


Hey. I’m famous. Well not really.

Woot. Oh well. So they misspelled my name and made my story sound trite. Woopie. Still, fame is fame and I am, if nothing else, a fame ho.

Life is … ok these days… getting better I suppose. Had brewskis & danced till late last night. On a monday for fricking crissakes. I’ve been unemployed too long. The weekends just don’t feel particularly special anymore when you play and don’t feel like you’ve earned it, or have nothing to wake up to the next day other than menial errand that make you feel like the day isn’t a total waste… and the energy gets sapped from knowing that there’s not enough to fill up the next day. But then again, that’s cuz I’m lazy & mopey these days.

Halfling, I think, doesn’t know what to do to cheer me up. He calls from work at 11 to make sure I’m up. Usually I’m not. Burying my head under the pillows and mumbling to the answering machine “Shut up, damn you. Shut up. Please, for the love of God. Just let me be mopey and lie under the covers for another hour feeling sorry for myself for a bit longer. At least I feel safe & warm there.”

Pathetic and lame, and un-Min Jung like. Yes, I know. I’m getting better.

I have a job interview at a spa tomorrow. Is it pathetic that my resume is among the dozens or more overqualified dot.com refugees applying for a measly position with no benefits? And then there’s the bombing overseas and the sense of impending uncertainty that comes with knowing that even more lives are gone from this earth now. Sure, there’s not a whole lot to be chipper about these days but you try.

Had a good brain storming session with Atomic boy today regarding the screenplay that has been futzing in my brain for several months now. How many words have I put down on paper yet? Don’t ask. But I’m like that. I hate writing anything down until I have most of it figured out in my head first. My writing teachers would nag me about how stubborn I was with my rewrites. My first drafts would usually be about 80% of what I’d be satisfied with as the finished product. “You’re talented. Lazy, but talented,”. they would tell me. Urm. Yeah. I won’t deny that.

I’m trying to clean out my life and realizing that i have too much stuff. I’m cleaning up my CD collection and selling a bunch off. Lame you say? Nah… just moving towards being as digital as possible. Books too. They’re just taking up space right now and I could use less clutter.
What I’m struggling with most these days is a sense of clarity. I know I’m not the only one. But I’m really hungry for it and have been praying about it a lot. Clarity. Direction. And confidence that what I’m trying to do with my life is the right thing to do.

Some recent conclusions: I am not going to apply to gradschool this year. I’m not hungry enough for it. Yet. I may be hungry enough for it in the future, but I think it’s lame to apply just because I don’t know what else to do with my life. It’s the easy out and I’d rather spend my time focused on figuring out what really makes me happy, satisfied, and motivated for the present time and re-evaluate my goals. Still, that clarity thing. Praying on it. Yeah.

Yesterday I spent two hours at the airport with my friend Colaboy. I call him that because he once nearly squished himself while rocking a vending machine with two other friends. After his narrow escape from beneath the machine, the words “Do Not Tilt” were impressed onto his forehead. True story. The fellow also hijacked an icecream truck in chicago when he was 10 with two buddies and gave free ice cream out to all his pals. Now he works for the state department and has two passports – a general US citizen’s and a diplomatic passport. Obviously the state department doesn’t know enough for his criminal past. But boy has he got some dumb ambassador stories. Like the one ambassador (not one of the US’s mind you) who tried to buy a waitress at a bar. Or the one caught driving drunk with 2 lbs of coke in his trunk and some loaded rifles. An extraordinary life Colaboy has. And fantabulous stories.

Colaboy had a layover there after a trip to vegas with his coworkers at the State Department. Can you imagine being in the grand canyon when hearing about the bombings in Afghanistan? Especially with his job? Uh… suxors, dude. He’s got training within the next few weeks at a facility just outside the Pentagon. Anyway, Colaboy and Germ are guilty of heroic acts of friendship. A few years back, I had a 4 hour layover in chicago, from 4 AM to 8. The boys drove from Urbana (2 hours I think) to picnic with me at the airport, keep me company, and feed me goodies. So, when he called at 7Am to say he had a layover and wanted some company, I couldn’t refuse. Sitting in baggage claim, we noted how there are military security with loaded rifles in the airport and how weird it felt, being back home in the US and now feeling odd about the obvious military presence there. Long tight hugs from good friends remind you of who you are, what brilliance you’re capable of, what love you have, and what God’s gifts are in human kindness.

Min Jung
Sweet dreams you all *Smak*

Posted by Min Jung in General

Ooops

10/06/01
Oops, I did It Again

Hey, did I tell you the one about the moron who lost her GMAT appointment and walked into the office to fix the appointment and wound up taking the exam without any mental preparation?

Oh… no?
Well.hmmm that was my thursday.

The local testing office lost my exam appointment for sunday. After calling a dozen or so times to try & fix the situation I figured I’d just go step by the office and square it out there. After learning that my appointment was *NO WHERE * in the books, I learned that the only available appointment for the next month was well…the day that I walked in. About 5 minutes after I talked to the schedule administrator was the only time I could take it. So…after about 20 seconds of deliberation and deciding that I desperately wanted to get the frickign thing overwith, I plunked down my ATM card and sat down at a terminal to take ti.

Surprisingly, I scored in the 80something percentile considering my lack of mental preparation. I mean, I hadn’t memorized my formulas, hadn’t eaten breakfast, hadn’t had a coffee, or prayed properly for the exam. So considering all that, not terribly shabby…but if I really want to go to b-school I shoudl take it again and notch up my score a tad.

Sometime in November/December after I’ve spent a little more time praying & prepping for the exam. My friend buffboy who has a posh finance job whom I’ve studied with on occasion scored a bit lower than me and, though peeved that I the lamer, did a touch better than he, will probably be my study buddy for the next time I decide to take a half assed blow to the ego. Brilliant.

In other news…went to a wedding. I have a friend, former co-worker that I want to set up on a date with my buddy potpie. We’ll see how that goes. (Evil laugh track inserted here).

Job hunting still sucks but I’m trying and getting a few measly responses. For Gosh sake. Will someone hire me damnit?!

I think I’ll eat some kimchi turkey stuffing and paint my toenails until I feel better.

Kimchi Stuffing Recipe from The Naked Rabbit Insanity Couple3 cups kimchi – chopped
2 cups walnuts – chopped fine
1 cup orange juice
1 stick melted butter
4 boxes of herbed croutons (cheaper & just as good as branded bread stuffing)
1 can of chicken stock
1 bunch celery, finely chopped
1 medium sized yellow onion – finely chopped
Optional – Dried fruit including cranberries or chopped apricots

Mix the messy batch together Layer with Kimchi on the top in a casserole dish. Drizzle melted butter on top. Bake at 375 for about about 1 hour + or minus 20 minutes until crispy on top

Eat. Enjoy. It’s not your mom’s turkey stuffing but it fricking kicks ass. And yes, it will be slightly squishy moist in the center but it is *DAMN* good that way.

Posted by Min Jung in General

10/04/01
Press Play

Kina – Me

My heart’s jumpin’
God, I’m feelin’ open
Spent a long time mopin’
Get a load of me, feelin’ free
No pain no more
No blockin’ up my own door
All anger out my back door
God, it’s good to see

Life,
Got kinda hard, I faced it
Fought and cried and almost gave in
All negative forces faded
Love of me just walked right in

I’m just me, I’m enough
With myself I’m in love
I’ve been weak, I’ve been low
Made me strong, now I know
I’m just me, I’m enough
Nothin’ less, nothing more
I wish everybody could just feel this kind of
love

Feels good, feels fine, feels good, yeah
My mind’s older
Chip’s fallen off my shoulder
All need to prove is over
Good enough for me
Found willingness
Found will to be courageous
No need to feel defenseless, Peace

I’m just me, I’m in love
With myself I’m in love
I’ve been weak, I’ve been low
Made me strong, now I know
I’m just me, I’m enough
Nothin’ less, nothing more
I wish everybody could just feel this kind of
love

Repeat ad infinitum.

Other Updates
Crime – Monopolizing house dryer with clothes
Verdict – Guilty
Punishment – No pot pie.

Thanks to a few friends to read my glum post yesterday and wrote me thoughtful msgs to remind myself of who I am. As I wrote a few people, sometimes you need to let yourself hit the ground so you remember where it is and can dust yourself off properly. And it’s ok. Dirt washes off. Bruises fade. Even scars can become nearly invisible. There’s no reason to beat myself up more than that though. There’s no point in getting attached to feeling so glum any longer than necessary.
There’s still work to be done.

Min Jung

Posted by Min Jung in General

10/03/01

I wonder if I’m losing it.

My morale has been low. Yes, so what makes me special compared to the rest of the nation? Hmm I guess not much. Neither does the state of continued unemployment differentiate me in any particular way. The last few days I’ve felt on the brink of tears nearly every day. And I guess not always in a good way. I keep on re-reading emails from people I care about and coming *this close* to cracking. I don’t know these days. I just wish someone would tell me what i should do with my life, to fix it, and I would do it. Unfortunately there isn’t anything quite like a tap in the butt from the almighty to clear my head. I’m confused. There is clutter in my brain and I’m feeling …just… not the way that “Min Jung” is supposed to feel like.

Here’s the thing, when I was in Europe, not a whole lot of people worried about me. They figured I could handle disaster without a problem. That I was a tough, resiliant, silly chick who could bounce back from anything & everything with more chutzpah than you can shake a matzo at. That I could be the one that they could lean on when they were depressed or needed advice, or a laugh.

What happens when I run out of that *juice* for me. This is what happens I guess. I feel…just…out of sorts. Uncomfortable in my own skin.
Easily irritable and scared shitless. These days I haven’t felt like much fun to be around so I feel like burrowing myself under heavy blankets with fuzzy socks and soft pajamas these days.

Gah. And a mile long list of things to do. A note that I needed to write myself this morning.

No One Will Hold Your Hand

You’re on your own, kiddo. A reminder to myself. I stuck it on my computer. Not as a sappy depressed relationship type blah blah, but more as a reminder to myself of what responsibilities I have to understand regarding my life and where I will need to push myself further to get what I want. Once I figure out what the hell I want. Yeah. Once I get that cleared up I’ll be just dandy.

*Sigh*
The bubble baths haven’t even helped too much lately.

Public Service Announcement Du Jour

It’s been a little over 9 years since my mother passed away.
I loved her dearly and always will.
Please support Breast Cancer awareness month.

Posted by Min Jung in General