09/18/01
Normalcy

No it’s not a common word that you would attribute to my life. My adventures, my state of mind. My musings, and my interactions with strangers or friends where strange things happen. These things are rarely considered normal to most folks but I suppose they are fairly common occurances for yours trully. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have nearly as much to write about.

I have been back since Saturday evening.

I have been exhausted, numb, and weary, completely mute and unable to attribute into complete sentences the words in my head, the images when I shut my eyes, the aching songs in my ears and this odd pain below my ribs.

I suppose that it is ia good thing that I am still jet lagged. The exhaustion numbs me a little bit and as I try to go about normal activities, cleaning, doing laundry, loading the dish washer, watering the plants, etc…I am trying to put some semblance of normalcy back into my life, at least going through the motions while I adjust back to that ephemeral state that is considered normal.

I miss normal.
I miss when my only worry needs to be about fixing a hem on my skirt, blurting out my attraction to a boy, or rising gas prices. I miss thinking about my writing, laughing about my sex life or lack of, prayers that bring moments of intimate peace, laughter that causes belly aches and delighting at an image of a charming young princess, or catching lovers in a tender moment.

I miss normalcy.
I miss feeling normal.

Min Jung