Argh
12/05/00
Something rather bugged me today at work.Grumble grumble.
Sometimes I’m not a very nice person. I have a very difficult time expressing myself when I’m angry or hurt. Whenever I try to stand up for myself and what I’m upset about, i come off as extremely cross, downright bitchy. And I really don’t mean to be bitchy and selfish like that, the words just come out wrong. Because I’m confused. Because I’m a jumble of hurt and annoyedness, and anger, and frustration.
What happened? In so many words, I became angry at someone and someones that made me feel ashamed of my choice in friends. It really wasn’t intentional snobbishness, I’m sure, but I really wasn’t sure if I was more ashamed of being friends with the “shunned” versus or being friends with “the snobs.”
Why does this make me sound like I’m in a Molly Ringwald flick? I guess I kid myself sometimes with these attempts of trying to be so mature, cool, relationship savvy, with a high emotional intelligence quotient , self actualized. All that’s bullshit in the end I guess. Today, kind of clumsily fumbled over my anger and hurt. The reasons why and how were rather stupid and more embarrasing in the retelling that in their original expression.
Blar.
TOYS TOYS TOYS! I spent the evening moving furniture around again and installing a printer, scanner, and DSL modem to my computer today. I’m sure that if a fire ever burns down the house, i’ll somehow be at fault for the electrical burn out. Yipes.
So I finally got a scanner. Its a very inexpensive HP Scanjet 4200 C. So far it scans extremely well with great color quality and speed. Yay
Of course that means more work for myself I’ll finally get around to scanning in all the pictures from my hawaii trip, my church group, baby pictures on request, my god son, and other group festivities.
Happy Birthday Jeff.
Happy Birthday Nikolai.
Happy Birthday Paul
Happy Birthday Janie
Happy Birthday Anna
Did I forget anyone?
Off to play with my toys again. (These don’t take D batteries)
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