11/9/99
I almost hate to admit that occasionally my day job demands me to do work. Sometimes it’s lousy. Most of the time it’s fine. I’ve been managing tradeshows and the last few have left me feeling distinctly that surrealty goes hand in hand with the madness of these events.
Here’s an assortment of randomness in my life lately:
Episode I.
For the first time in nearly 20 years, I was asked by a guy sitting next to me “So, um… do you speak any English?”
My response, “Yes, Impeccably.”
His next statement, based on the assumption that I was Taiwanese, “So, um, how’s your family been since the earthquake?”
My response, (With the evil eye that is so harsh that in the past I’ve turned adversaries into pillars of salt)
“They’re just fine in Detroit as far as I know.”
Episode II.
While setting up a booth for Internet World, I received the following, ahem, recruiting volley of comments from the dorks accross the way.
“So, honey, (CAN YOU FRICKING BELIEVE HE CALLED ME HONEY?) why don’t you just quit & come work for me now, since we’re going to put you guys under in 6 months anyway.”
A hem.
I’m sure I have no idea how come they were having difficulty getting their demo stations going the next morning. No sirree, I saw nothing.
Episode III.
After a frustrating evening setting up for another show where it’s nearly 11PM and equipment has arrived damaged, I kindly request from one of the forklift meatheads(Union Sloths that bane my life), if I could have something to break since I was feeling excrutiatingly violent. The brilliant behemoth that looks a little like a Samoan Gorilla Monsoon asks,
“You want something to break?”
“YES, I’m Very Very Very Upset right now and I’m feeling Violent. I need to break something or I will kill someone.”
“Hey, has anyone told you that you have a beautiful smile… [snip etcetera bullshit flattery] can I buy you coffee?”
A hem.
He’s a PhD dude if I ever saw one. I’m violently pissed off & about to invicerate folks and he thinks this is a good time to try & make his smooth move. All he had was bubblewrap. Bastard.
With three shows, in the past month, I’ve barely survived with tattered shreds of patience & peace of mind attached with packing tape all over my poor little body. So, without PMS, I’ve been a total grump but I’m sure Ki & Chris will take me out for a beer & furniture shopping until I’m back to my lovely perky self again. In the meantime, if you see a girl waving her fists in the air & stomping on bubble wrap, you should run. Run like the wind & don’t turn back.
Cranky,
Min Jung
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